So we met with oncologist on 9 December to be told they now could not definately say I was cancer free so I needed further treatment.
Chemo radiotherapy. That was my choice or further surgery that would mean a colostomy stoma bag for rest of my days..Not really a choice.
Normally for mindfulness I walk my dogs or ride my horse and throw myself into keeping busy. But I was on crutches without ability to walk or drive so mentally it has been quite hard. You try not to Google but can't help it. You wake up in night and think about all this information.
Cancer is much more curable nowadays and I was lucky that they found it early stage 1 so my prognosis was good. 95% survive to 5 years.
I started to get paranoid about Covid and whether they had missed anything else..
My planning meeting was on Dec 17, 2021 where you have CT scan and get tattooed ready to start treatment.. My treatment is due to start on 4 January - chemotherapy (Mytomycin) with chemo pill and weeks of radiotherapy 5 days on and weekends off.
It doesn't sound that pleasant but I just have to get on with it. My big concern is that chemo knocks out immune system just when all the news is about Omnicron being at peak in Jan. Yes I've had 3 Covid jabs but even a cold can turn nasty when you have lack of white blood cells..
To date my family know and a handful of friends. This blog was written to explain what's been going on. It's quite difficult to keep repeating the information..To be honest I'm trying not to think about it.
I have had some lovely messages and flowers 
️ Now I've opened it up to more people more than ever I could do with a) things that make us laugh b) practical help - like walking the dogs, or spending time grooming my horses who have been neglected emotionally but not physically, c) recommendations for good books or series to watch when I'm confined to house d) news about your life (good or bad) so not to concentrate on this e) plans to do something nice when this is over f) time to speak to John, or Tom or Oliver to help them as well g) photos of silly memories.. And I realise I'm lucky it's only stage 1 and lots of people you and I know have had it worse, but the emotion is the same..Cancer is curable but it is also terrifying . It affects 1 in 2 people..You just never think it's going to be you.
.We are just about to move in Feb to our newly built house. It is stunning and we feel so privileged. But really it's only a house..What matters is the people you love, the memories you make and all the non material things..
