Well, I was feeling pretty awful as Cycle 2 began, but a little more positive when the Levatinib was halved - and having a week off felt good. It gave my mouth time to heal up and the aches in my muscles improved after a few days.
So, I was positive going into the Christmas weeks. I managed a half day shopping on my own; felt engaged in all that was going on and really started to look forward to the festivities. By Christmas Day, my appetite was so much better. I had a few drinks - blow the effects - I was fairly sensible but for goodness sake, there has to be fun things in your life and if a glass of Prosecco and a couple of Baileys is likely to kill you - then, is life really worth it? My BP normalised, but it’s still at the top end, so I keep it monitored. And I drink plenty.
I was fine till 27th. Started back on Levatinib on 26th, so that could have triggered this, but a horrible headache gripped me all at once. I couldn’t think straight. I had to get out of the room where the family was and head to bed. My husband came with me and took my BP and it was pretty high - Diastolic of 115 - I took 2 paracetamol and lay down, with blackouts up. But asked husband to keep checking on me.
I was terrified you see. The previous week a friend on immunotherapy who had stage 4 bowel cancer collapsed after behaving strangely, in A&E where tests had been inconclusive, having a massive stroke. She never woke up. It’s really sobered me and reminded me we are basically having poison squirted into our veins and swallowing it. We take potential killers to kill other more likely killers. I didn’t want to die alone while my family feasted unaware.
But obviously I didn’t die, and my BP was back to normal by evening and has been since. And actually I have felt pretty good since. I have more energy, less aches and pains and better appetite. I feel more hopeful about how the treatment will go. I’m more realistic about its potential adverse effects but I know mostly they can be managed.
So into week 3 and hopefully a continuation of having some energy.
