So today seems better than last couple, but will see how it goes.
had a really bad day on wednesday. been waiting to crack knew it was coming, and it happened whilst getting a sales call on my mobile. the guy must have realised i was loosing it, as ended the call quickly. i just dropped the phone and burst into tears. much to the dogs dismay as they both tried to help by sitting on me and licking my face. as least they know how to make me smile. didn't know a person could rely so heavily on a pet emotionally. its easy they don't expect me to talk.
going for my MIBG scan next week.
got call from mandy, my chemo nurse, she rang to introduce herself, as she is going to be my point of call from now on. she is arranging for my port to be fitted. just waiting to hear about that and my ct scan then will be on with the chemo.
my boss spoke to me today about getting the college councillor in to speak to my office, as apparentlt people are worried about me and a bit upset. i find that a strange concept, can't see how i would be that important for people to be getting upset. i have said i will speka to her, not sur if ready to talk but think i probably should. think they all think i ok at work, but discovered i have a really big wall that goes up on the drive to work and falls down on the way home. just said that my partner has to deal with the me that has the wall down.
i feel i am spoiling his life and it is stopping doing things he wants to do as at the minute i aren't ready to go places with lots of people like just going out to the pub even. everything seems so loud. i start panicking thinking about it. he keeps telling me that his life is with me which i know it is, but it has hard seeing him give up doing things for me.
