Had a long hard week last week, Had MIBG scan on tue and wed, and CT scan on thur, All went ok, just tiring.
Don't seem to have good days on wednesdays though. Last wed was not a good day. I had thought i was seeing the work councillor and then discovered that my boss had made a mess when arranging the appointments, she had arranged a group session for when i was out having my scan, but hadn't told either myself or the councillor that i wouldn't be there! i was fuming as i had got myself ready to talk to her.
then went for scan which was ok, i even fell asleep whilst having it and kicked the machine by accident. oops! got home though to my new dog (had her a month, 4yr rescue) had decided to destroy my favourite rug and one of favourite tops. she ahd got bored and ripped them to shreds. i then went on to poor boiling water over my hand whilst cooking tea! broke down after that but felt better for crying.
it seems to build up and build up hten overtake in a flood of emotion. am getting more used to the idea of my treatment and am handling my emotions bit better each day.
i have reached a point where i am comfortable talking about what is going on and think this is how i work through it. only problem is that my friends seem to find it hard to listen and try to change the subject which is frustrating as i can't do with having it pushed under the carpet. whats the point! its here and here to stay for a while.
i am fed up of people getting all serious and maudlin with me, i want to laugh and be cheerful, it woukld be really easy for meto go back into pit of depression, i was there last year and it would be easy to go again. i understand it must be hard for everyone else but surely i have the right to be a little selfish for once and if i want to talk surely that gives the right to at least have my friends listen to me.
no appointments this week, get my power port fitted next tuesday, think chemo will start soon after.
