pallative care, what does it mean exactly pls

Less than one minute read time.

FormerMember

1 May 2011

hi all. hope you can help me, my lovely best friend has a rare sarcome cancer in her stomach and we have now found out it hasnt responded to chemo, it has grown.

it has grown rapidly over 2 months so the chemo has been stopped, she's on 2 hourly morphine and cannot face eating, extremely tired, on oxygen but trying to be chatty when we visit.

i got to the hospital today and her daughters were saying someone had been in to chat to them about pallative care and how to prepare for her dying, I didnt want to ask what it meant or how long she has left as didnt want to upset them or myself

so can someone please tell me does pallative care mean the end is imminent, as if so i would like to spend more time with her just holding her hand and letting her know how loved she is.

also would it be best for her to know or let her think she has a life ahead of her

please hope there's an answer from some one thank you

FormerMember over 13 years ago

thanks to all the above people giving me some advice and answers, my friend knows she's terminal and her girls and her have had the pallative nurse in talking about last days of dying etc, so she does know but i'm not sure if she knows how long, i know thats for her family to tell her, but i would like to know for myself to ensure i'm nearby when needed.

i can't believe how fast its happening we were planning a break in wales and getting her bedroom done up, its heartbreaking seeing some lovely person who has amazing daughters and grand children (she is only 53) to have her life cut short. i am truly grateful for any advice and i think everyone on here is an angel for being so strong x
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FormerMember over 13 years ago

Thank you Faye for asking that question and thank you all for the wonderful answers. So good to read and very informing, I was given pallative care 2 months ago for an illness ive had for 20 yrs which in February became Cancer. after 9 operations in all there is nothing else they could do. So at the moment I have a District Nurse in every day to dress the aweful tumour which is growing rapidly and bleeding a lot which no one can give me an answer to. This tumour is on my face which also makes life very difficult to live with.I dont know when Im going ,and that was also nice to read because some days I do feel bad and think thats it and other days im feeling fine.I am having chemo at the moment but after the second one im not sure to carry on. The tumours ( Ido have another one on the back of my neck ) dont seem to be shrinking. Does any one know how long it should take to shrink? And has anyone had chemo that worked. A difficult choice to make, carry on or stop. the last time I had to have a white blood injection and felt really aweful, did wonder then if it was worth it Any way thanks all. Lots of love to Fayes Friend
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FormerMember over 13 years ago

hi kezzie,my pete as been on and off chemo this is our 6th year ,so even if there is only small shrinkage it is keeping it in check and the tumors are responding,so if you can keep up with the chemo its better you deciding than the doctors.hugs Chrisxx(p.s. i was on chatline last ngt.)xx
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