hi all, i just wondered i know were all different and we cope different but my dad passed away on thursday morning i loved my dad very much and i am glad i listened to lots of you on here (i started to tell him i loved him about 2 weeks before he died). whats bothering me is that i'm feeling numb i am totally in a daze, i haven't showed any emotion yet, if i think about my dad i feel like a shutter is being pulled down infront of my brain to prevent me from the truth? everybody else is crying and i appear to be totally hard faced, i am becoming upset because i am not upset. i just feel as though i am dreaming.
is this a normal emotion? am i likely to breakdown later or does anybody think i am getting the strength to look after my mum and brother.
hugs and peace love tracy xx.
Sorry to read of your fathers passing. You said in opening that we're all different and that is just it! Everyone deals with grief in a different way and there is nothing wrong with that. Expression of emotion will come at time when you feel ready and I know that can seem uncaring to the outside world but you know within yourself how you feel. And - yes - I do think you've taken it upon yourself to be strong for your mother and brother, knowingly or unknowingly! and again there is nothing wrong with that. This is just your way of dealing with things. It is surely one of the most difficult times in anyones life but the main thing is being there for the family - emotion or not - it's not easy, but it helps!
There's not a right or a wrong way to feel when grieving. We each deal with it differently. You have just lost a very huge important part of your life. I should imagine that some of what you are dealing with is shock. My husbands dad died from cancer 6 years ago and he still hasn't cried. He says he feels guilty for that but that he can't release that part of his grief. He's just accepted it now but its taken a long time. I think there's a part of us that just feels so angry when we lose loved ones to this terrible disease
Your family will know how much you loved your dad, and still do - he may not be here but in your head he will always be there. Just give yourself time to accept what's happened.
I'm so sorry for your loss, I know deep down I'm going to be in your position with my dad one day and I think I will find it just as hard as you are
of course u r normal ....u r being "strong" for ur family
about a week before my dad died i cried so much i couldnt stop i thought i was going to cry and cry forever! then when he died i didnt cry (only a few little tears) about a month later we were getting our christmas cards (family ones) - yes- uve guessed in the middle of WHS im in floods ....sobs ...snot n all!!!! just cos i was buying a merry xmas mum (and not mum n dad)....how embarrassing?
so a word of advise ....always carry tissues around with you at all times!
First, please accept my deepest sympathy for you and your family, I kind of understand how you are feeling.
everyone deals with situations in different ways. We have never been prepared to deal with something so tragic in our lives. I have recently found out my Dad only has a few weeks to live. I also feel numb, I cannot control my emotions either, at times my mind is blank. I cant think, cry, nothing? By not crying does not mean you do not care. A cry is just one part of expressing your emotions.
I hope you are finding the strength to get through these difficult times. I'm not sure how I am going to handle what is due to come. I cant even bring myself to think what is going to happen.
Take each hour of every day as it comes. At least you were able to tell him how much you love him before he passed, some people don't even get the chance to do that.
Sending all my love to help you through this difficult time, stay strong!!!
Hi Tracey, when my husband died on 3rd August my daughter was my rock, she stayed with me for 4 days and was my support. However I noticed that she had not cried since Ray died. I told her on day 4 to go home, she didn't want to as she was worried about me. I insisted and when she got home (only 15 minutes from my house) she laid in the bath, lit candles and cried and cried for what seemed hours, she said she felt so much better afterwards and since then has had a good cry most days but not all. You are the same as her, you are trying to be strong for everyone else and that is so kind of you, but you need to be on your own to remember your lovely dad and then hopefully the tears will fall. Everyone grieves in there own particular way, I have days when something sets me off and others when I don't cry at all. My darling girl my thoughts are with you. Hugs & kisses Annxx
