Yep you heard me, I am bloody thrilled! I had my appointment with the haematologist this morning (not that I keep banging on about it or anything) and went through the results of the tests. They took more blood but I guess that's part of their interest so why not.
My lovely haematologist told me he'd already referred me for radiotherapy and I'd get an appointment to see either 'John or John' which then turned out to be 'John or Joan' who work at the Freeman Hospital (not too far away) to book me in for assessment and then I'll either have 1, 5 or 15 sessions.
He confirmed that 3 of the 4 new lumps were indeed cancerous but I'd expected that. The other, located on another part of my body is apparently too small and under a freckle so he wouldn't make a decision and being that this is not a particularly aggressive cancer, told me he'd have another look at it in 2 months when I've finished radiotherapy.
What a relief! I was half convinced he'd tell me I had to go on the watch and wait list immediately. I know that it's the likely outcome for any further tumours but I would like some time to feel like I've had the mother f****r fried first! Silly cells!
I also finally took the leap and told the other people I love. I'd put off telling many people for an age because of some of the bizarre responses I'd had but I figured with the news that something would be done, it was worth telling people so I had something pretty positive to back it up with. 'Hey, I've got crap news but it's really not as crap as it could be.' The majority of my friends have been really fabulous about it (of course they would, they love me too) and the rest took me up on my offer not to talk about it which is perfectly fine with me too. I've had a couple of people shy away from me already but I figure that's their own issue. It's not like I've got something highly contagious....especially nothing they could catch when I'm over 350 miles away but hey we all cope differently. Sarcasm is the answer for me!
I sent a message to my friend Charlie who immediately called me. I'm a bit deaf anyway and was on the bus back into work when I got the call from her. She said 'I just want you to know, I've got your message and sent you one back but I have to tell you, you're awful'. I was shocked and loudly enquired why on earth she'd ring me to tell me I was awful!? Lots of staring on the bus. Yeah....she said awesome. Oh dear! She asked me whether I also thought she was the sort of girl who throws shoes at people since I'd accused her of telling me I was awful and explaining she was backing up this sentiment in writing. I absolutely don't, she's brilliant!
So I'm now counting down to hear when I get to see the radiologist. I am wondering whether they'll accept my complaint that the radiotherapy will fail to make me radioactive when I had SO had my heart on becoming the hulk and joining the Avengers when I'd heard I had cancer. Maybe not right...
Perhaps I can just get them to number the tattoos so I really can be a human dot to dot?
I might well be the happiest person ever to receive the news that I have to have radiotherapy.
I haven't really looked into it yet so I'm sure there will be an 'oh bugger' moment if I too fall asleep on the bus after treatment but at least there's action and it's another step to remission. I don't care right now how long that remission is (who am I kidding, make it go away dammit) but at least it will mean some time to concentrate on my friends and my life again. I know I really am very lucky and there is so much I should be pleased about! Also, no panic attacks since Sunday. I might have turned a corner and everything!
