Sometimes I think there's nothing else to do but cry and do it hard.
I'm frightened today. It's my own fault for reading the Cancer Research Facebook update about a chap my age who had cancer when he was 15, which he'd found out had come back in February and is now terminal. I donated to his JustGiving page, freaked myself out and then tried to ignore it. My lump is indeed still there (well to be fair it was unlikely to have disappeared in two or three days). I am hoping very much that I just have a boob cyst and not cancer. I'm sure that's all it'll be. 99% of me thinks that's likely but the niggly scared bit is still bobbing around in the back of my head.
Today I had a Virgin Media man shout at me. He called me back and apologised but not before I had sworn at him, told him he had appalling customer service and would call back to talk to someone who actually gave a crap enough to explain to me why they thought I owed them a ton of money. It turns out despite his 20 minutes of protestations that I don't owe them that money at all. I was right and he was being a nob for no reason! Oh well. I was very cross that I only got him to look at it because I got so angry that I burst into tears and told him all I wanted was to understand why my bill was suddenly so high.
So....that was that. I called my friend more or less straight away to tell her why I was hating my week. She managed to cheer me up but not until I'd cried great ugly tears down the phone at her about my fear.
I think I would have liked a bit longer between the last cancer and this scare (especially since the last one was an actual cancer thing as opposed to what might be a cyst). If I look like I'm about to cry again, someone tell me to man up and get a grip please.
