Shut Down and New Lumpiness

1 minute read time.

FormerMember

10 Mar 2015

Things have been quite insular in ginger land lately, not least because Hairy had a mini rage at Virgin when their engineer didn't turn up and managed to cancel all our services. It was odd being without internet, TV or phone for a while but I quite enjoyed having to keep myself busy and not attached to a device. Err as you can see I am totally sticking to this way of living now they've turned it all back on.

Things on the Hairy front have been strained. He told me recently that our relationship was no longer working. At this point I quite sensibly broke my heart and explained as devastated as I was, I would understand if he didn't love me anymore. Umm except he did. In fact upon further probing apparently he's just not getting enough of my attention. Now if I was clever I probably should have seen it coming. The whole world revolved around my appointment times and blood tests and my fear for nearly a year. Now things were better and where is the grand show of appreciation? Well there wasn't one, I was burying my head. I was however very angry that he hadn't told me sooner. He said he didn't want to upset me. Yes because waiting until you are so fucked off you want to threaten to leave me was infinitely more sensible. Then he said he thought I would know. I'm a part time psychic? Anyway I am now in a renewed effort to make the man I love feel it! That does sound rather dodgy.

Ah yes and the new lump. Currently one cm and located in my breast, just bobbing about. I have stripped off and made the doctor have a good feel (I made an appointment first I promise) and since I'm not 30 and don't have anything grim pouring from me apparently don't fit the urgent criteria so after new blood tests I have to go back to see if I can be referred. Apparently she doesn't think the breast people will want to see me though so she's hoping it's my lymphoma so haematology will see me. Cancer is so fickle

FormerMember over 9 years ago

Dearest Lou,

How do i remind you in the nicest way possible with out you gettin to upset,

oh i know, You a complete blockhead!!!!! :-))))

we had this chat about hairy not getting attention back in late summer, you totally agreed to give more hairy time,

you can come on here for attention and we give it to you in bucket loads as you deserve it

but hope all goes well with your test,
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FormerMember over 9 years ago

My darling you are of course right (and you honestly don't have to sugar coat things with me) and I did indeed take action. We spent Christmas together, just the two of us, I've arranged a proper 'date' at least once a month and regularly try to make sure I'm home at least 3 evenings in the week so that we can spend time together as well as a weekly Sunday walk and I recently bought tickets for us and 2 of his friends to go to a gig (which was fab). In fact, whilst I think things might have lapsed a little I think I'm doing a lot to try and make him feel appreciated. I'm back up to full steam in the cleaning and cooking fronts and tell him a million times a day that I love him...but it wasn't enough, or rather at that moment while I was trying to tell him he'd done something I didn't appreciate, he decided to tell me it wasn't enough. So I've taken the path of reasonableness. I've told him that I appreciate his honesty but going out at least 4 nights a week means I'm hardly entirely at fault for the lack of quality time and that if he felt that way it would be useful to tell me sooner rather than later, especially since he didn't talk to me for 2 weekends in a row with no explanation before this and denied that there was anything wrong. Bizarre you man creatures are! Not that I think he's entirely at fault either. I could be more err...girly? I'll work on it I promise!

I hope the tests say it's just a cyst or a bit of fat that lost its way when looking to attach itself to my belly but if it is cancer, I'm hoping it's just the lymphoma again. If it's that I think I'll be OK about that. If it's a new cancer I actually think that would feel worse. Still, it's probably nothing suspicious, after all, I don't match the 'urgent symptoms' so roll on 2 weeks!
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FormerMember over 9 years ago

Hi girl, all I can do is comment from the guy who was on the outside. There are times when you just feel excluded, you see the person that you love and you may loose them and that's hard to cope with, you feel impotent. You want to be the guy who looks after your lady but can do nothing. So you build that wall (opps I feel a bit of Phil Colins comeing on! Well I am 54!) I know that's no excuse, but its the best I can offer?

Hope things improve in ginger land

gingercat.
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