The lump that I was assured would vanish after my period is still very much in place, still not moored to anything and still no bigger. Swings and roundabouts on the lumpy news scale really isn't it! I have come to the conclusion that if the lump is cancer and they want to 'whop off a boob' as it were that I'll ask if they'd kindly take the other one while they're at it. This would be good because I'd remain symmetrical in my breastless state, there would be less of me to grow new cancer and it'd get it over and done with. That said I'm not sure the NHS support people's desire to randomly replace bits of their bodies with synthetic material. Fingers crossed eh? In other news I'm signing up for one of those Cancer Research 5k muddy runs with my friend. The dancing around at Clubbercise is clearly doing me some good because I'm fitter than I was this time last year. I might even dare I say it, take up running! Its funny how getting cancer has made me so much more determined to really live. I wasn't arsed about eating healthily or exercising last year and I felt no urgency to DO something because hey I'm young and I don't like missing out on some hardcore sleeping. This way is definitely better.
I went for my blood tests again this morning. All over and done with in super quick time so I can skip off to work. I am struggling to sleep, I guess the little part of me that wonders about my lump only gets to come out and play in the dark but aside from that I am rather calm about the prospect of more cancer. I think to be fair it's because I can't really believe I will die this young. I know intellectually it's a possibility; plenty of people don't make it to old age but my brain won't allow me to feel it and I'm thankful for that. I think that's the sort of realisation that if you felt it before you really had to would eat up and destroy your whole life. Well aren't I a cheerful soul today. Honestly, I'm actually quite chipper
