It's probably a little early to declare today a good day but it's warm and sunny and that's enough to make a ginger smiley (providing there is enough suncream) even though I managed to fall over twice on my walk to another episode of endless appointments with health care professionals. More tests. On the bright side that all went without a hitch. On the not so bright side I've now fallen down 3 times in 2 days and am the proud owner of 6 massive bruises.
The falling over is nothing new so I won't begin another epic panic about disease. One of my legs is longer than the other and I was born prematurely and suffering fits which left me with absolutely no spacial awareness or coordination. It's pretty common for me to fall over in a heap for no discernable reason but the angry bruises make me look like either a thug or a victim of domestic abuse. I'm asked about them a lot and today was no different.
I have managed to put my mind at rest for the time being where 'internal cancer watch' is concerned. My imagined kidney cancer is a pulled muscle and I lose all marks for guesses in the neck cancer scare. I've looked it up and it's almost definitely my jugular vein. No wonder all that poking made it hurt! I know I still need to be vigilant but maybe we can dial down the blind fear every time I discover a part of my body I just hadn't paid attention to for the first 26 years.
This period of rational (mainly) thinking has given me time to ponder what I can do. Fundraising at some point definitely but also the awareness factor. According to the book they don't really know what causes it but if you have an autoimmune disorder (I do), an under active thyroid (mum does), rheumatoid arthritis (both parents and grandparents do) or have ever had glandular fever (I have) you are more at risk. In fact all I need to complete the set is cancer treatment (I'm getting that), 2 stomach viruses, HIV and Hepatitis. I'm not looking to go all Pokemon and 'collect them all' since they don't sound the least bit appealing but I do wish someone had told me I was basically a walking, talking, living target of doom where dodgy cells were involved. It wouldn't have changed it but maybe I wouldn't have wrongly assumed it was an ugly cyst for months either.
Anyway off to work I go full of smiles and the hope I manage to get through the rest of the day in an upright position. If all else fails I'm armed with porridge and music and I'm not afraid to use them!
