Well to say last week didn't get better would be an understatement, the injections caused so much pain we had a trip to A&E in the early hours of Saturday morning. We did however, find out that M's white count was high as in well over normal range for someone who is healthy, never mind 3 rounds of chemo in. At this point M decided to disregard the remaining anti biotics and refused the last injection, can't say I blame him I wasn't looking forward to inflicting more pain on him.
So, what next, meeting with wet fish tomorrow to see what the options are as I think M is coming to the end of his tolerance for this and may well look at withdrawing consent if wet fish and special can't come up with a reason not to. There has to be an alternative to the injections and probably most of the tablets they think he's taking. The list of questions is being drawn up as I type and we'll see if special is around today to read her e-mail as we never got the results from the bone marrow test and I've asked for them. I'm not holding my breath that we'll get any answers until the really big punches start being thrown but as my lovely grandad used to say 'if you live in hope you'll die in despair' and I'm not up for that. I want answers for him and I want straght talking answers not the usual amount of guff he trots out. I can't watch the pain anymore and if there's way to stop it and keep him safe then that's what we need to do.
Round 4 on Friday and after that well watch this space, we'll see if we can win another battle with the hospital and make this barbaric journey a bit shorter, or at least more manageable for us both. The really sad part is when he was diagnosed he had no secondary symptoms at all, now he has side effects galore and feels worse than before, it is then quite difficult to try and persuade him he's getting better when he feels like death and thinks he's letting everyone down by not just getting on and carrying on.
Here's hoping all you lovely people out there are fairing as well as you can,
Love
Hx
