need some hope

Less than one minute read time.

FormerMember

26 Dec 2009

had more bad news last week. The Liver surgeon thinks I am inoperable, leaving me with only one other potential option, if I am a viable candidate, which is SIRT. I have asked for a second opinion from Dr Rees in Basingstoke and have to have an MRI to see what he thinks. Seeing the oncology team at the Hammersmith who deal with SIRT on the 4th.

Haven't told mum yet. My cousins and some friends know. This is just getting so hard. Thinking I may not even see my 30th birthday is just so scary. Had plans to hit Vegas with some friends and none of it seems possible right now. Have cancelled my Jan ski trip, too much yet too little going on all at the same time.

I'm hitting a wall right now. Don't know how to stay positive anymore. Just can't seem to stop crying when I'm alone. I just want to be better.

FormerMember over 15 years ago

Sorry you feel so sad. Thinking of you and desperately hoping you have good news about he SIRT.

Hugs Jen X
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FormerMember over 15 years ago

hey, sending you big hugs, i cant imagine the thoughts going through your head at the moment. please stay strong, i do healing everynight and am happy to add you to my healing book!

stay strong, love n light
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FormerMember over 15 years ago

Wow, all I can say is thank you all so much for being so lovely and supportive. Still amazes me how people I both know and have never met can be so kind and caring.

A friend from work took me out today to Claridges for lunch. She emailed me a few days ago totally out of the blue and suggested going for lunch somewhere and it seemed like a nice thing to do as so many of my other friends are away at the moment.

We've worked together for about 3 years and have always got on but aren't best buddies or anything, so it was so touching when she suggested it. She organised for us to totally take our time at the bar before having lunch and we kept being offered extra lovely bits of food which I thought "well that's nice of them". Then the matre d' came over and asked if we would like a tour of the kitchens. Still I didn't twig! Then after all of that he came back over, with yet more delicasies and a complimentary coffee table book on the history of Claridges. Finally twigged that she had set the whole thing up for me. I couldn't get over that. She'd heard from one of the guys at work about me not being able to go on the ski trip and why and was apparently gutted as she was hoping I would keep her in line!

I was a bit weepy whilst staying at my mum's for the last few days. Every time I was on my own I would have a sob and remember various days of bad news. I'm trying to stay positive now til the 4th when I move on to the next step of waiting for some good news. I'm 29 for god's sake, they have to do something! What else have I got otherwise, better something than nothing. Just hope they see it that way too.

Hope everyone is having a lovely and fabulous christmas and has nice plans for new years.

love to everyone xxxx
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