To cope or not to cope?

Well shit.. unfortunately my instincts were right. The cancer is also in his oesophagus and inoperable. They can offer chemo but it is palliative only and the cancer is so widespread i fear months is what we are talking about.......

Hope we can make what time we have left as best as it can be... I am devastated. Thanks for the support guys...im going to need it.

dear fatcat

i'm gonna have a go to answer your question of 'how do you do it?' - in that i think its not really a choice, we cope with it as best we can because we have to. the devastation and shock i felt at my dad's diagnosis and prognosis smashed my whole happy little world crashing to the ground - and by god i cried buckets,screamed and howled every single day, but i also visited him everyday and didnt sit there crying the whole time (ok sometimes i did). i think that because we know time is limited and every day,hour and minute together counts cos they are running out - that is what makes us cope in front of the patient, as we dont want the last weeks/days/hours together to be just about the horrible paralysing pain we feel at the knowledge we are losing them. you will probably surprise yourself and be able to do as you are hoping for and be strong for him when you need to be, and also its ok to not be strong sometimes as well. i had many a sob in my dad's arms and he in mine, and that is testament to the love and ease we have with each other. i'm sure you will too, but you will somehow manage through this awful nightmare, and your dad will be glad to have you there lovingly by his side.

please do talk to us here on the site as we all understand what an evil thing cancer is, and we will help and support you in any way we can.

wishing you strength, and many good days with your dad.

love, TGP xx

Hi Fatcat,

My thoughts,strength,support and Love. I send to you and all your Family. Stay strong,and look after yourself.

Take care and be safe Big Hugs Love Sarsfield.xx

Oh Fatcat...I'm so so sorry for you all...I'm thinking about you and sending a big hug and my support, whenever you need it...I'll always be here. You're in good company Fatcat...and will get lots of support, advice and ears ready to listen. Soak up every minute you have with your Dad, and somehow from somewhere the strength will come...promise. Take care. Love and hugs to you, Janey x x x

To chemo or not to chemo......that is the question...