A cancer diagnosis can leave you feeling hit for six. You may feel numb or as if what’s happening isn’t real.
In today’s world where we can do so much at the touch of a button, it can come as a shock to realise there is no quick fix for cancer.
Feeling that you don’t have the situation in hand can be one of the hardest things for many people to come to terms with. This sense of loss of control can be just as strong when it’s not you receiving the diagnosis, but a close friend or loved one. A parent may feel physically sick that they are unable to make things better for their child. A husband or wife may feel frustrated that they can’t change the situation their partner is in.
It’s normal to feel a range of emotions during this time. You may feel angry or resentful, or sad or guilty, or all of these feelings combined. Our booklet How are you feeling? The emotional effects of cancer can help you to understand your emotions at this difficult time.
Learning to accept some loss of control is part of the process of coming to terms with a cancer diagnosis. If you can let go of feeling you must be in control all the time, and try to take each day as it comes, the journey may be a little less fraught.
That said, there are some things you can do to help yourself feel more in control. Here are some ideas:
- Learning about the cancer and its treatment can help you feel more on top of things. Macmillan has a wealth of trustworthy online information about cancer types, symptoms and treatments. You can also order the information in booklet format from be.Macmillan You can also request audio copies of our information if you have sight problems or prefer to listen to information. If you’re not sure where to start, call our free, confidential phone line on 0808 808 00 00 (Monday–Friday, 9am–8pm) and one of our cancer support specialists will be able to help.
- Getting involved in your healthcare helps you focus on the things you can control rather than the things you can’t. The Macmillan organiser will help you keep track of things such as your symptoms, food intake, your appointments and your medication.
- If you’re experiencing pain, you may find it useful to keep a pain diary. You can find an example of one in our Controlling cancer pain booklet. It enables you to keep a record of your pain, which will help you when talking to your doctor about it.
- Symptoms vary depending on the type of cancer you have, but they can include eating, mouth or skin problems. We have information on managing physical symptoms in our booklet Controlling the symptoms of cancer. It contains a chart that you can use to keep a record of your symptoms, which can help you when discussing your symptoms with your doctors or nurses.
- Complementary therapies may help you cope with some of the stresses caused by cancer and cancer treatments, and by doing so help you regain a sense of control. There are various complementary therapies available and you can read more about them in our Cancer and complementary therapies booklet.
- If you’re worried about work and finances, our cancer support specialists are able to tell you about the benefits and other financial help you may be entitled to. They can also give you information about your rights at work as an employee, and help you find further support. You can call them on 0808 808 00 00.
- Another way to feel more in control is to connect with others. You can read about other people’s experiences of cancer on our Online Community, and chat to them if you wish. Sharing experiences with others in a similar situation can help you to feel less alone and more equipped to cope.
Remember that whilst you may not be able to change a cancer diagnosis, there are steps you can take that will make coming to terms with cancer and moving forward that bit easier.
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Keep in touch Follow Macmillan’s cancer information team on Twitter @mac_cancerinfo
