The waiting is taking its toll emotionally on both of us

wish to send you big love and hugs to you both, i am not a carer nor suffering myself but i have found out my special sister is (my blog will tell all if you want to read it)

anyway i digress, is sounds like you are doing a brilliant job and i can only try and understand how stressed you get at times wtih it all.

with the ear wax do you have to wait to get it seen to? the one thing i wanted to suggest is sodium bicarbonate that you can buy over the counter, just a couple of drips in the bad ear(s) will release the wax and if your lovely husband doesnt mind lying down on one side whilst it settles this may help, it wont cure but may release some of his frustrations for a while of the horrid wax that is annoying him to make him feel other things

Hello Sharon. So sorry that Dave isn't too good at the moment and I don't think the ear problem will be helping at all. Is there any chance that the doctor can get this sorted out for him a bit sooner ? In a way I can understand why Dave is being ' bolshy ' as when I was in a bad state after the RT I did give my hubby a really hard time - ended up apologising time and time again, but the pain made me a horrible person. I was at my best when zonked out with the patches and Oramorph !

I hope that Dave does keep the appointment with the counciller as she should be able to help one way or the other. Try and hang in there, Sharon - I know it's not easy, but deep down Dave doesn't mean to hurt you. Take care. Love, Joycee xx

Hi Sharon

Sorry to hear you and Dave are having a hard time.  

I know exactly how you feel about wanting to bash him against a brick wall sometimes.  My John is exactly the same.  He's so frustrated because he can't do the things he wants to do that he takes it out on me and I really have to bite my lip and remind myself that it's not really him talking but the bloody drugs and this godawful disease.  Then, like you, we have good moments when we cuddle up and say "I love you" and the bad moments slide into insignificance.  Hang onto those good moments.

I had a bit of a cry yesterday.  I decided to stick all our important phone numbers on the fridge and reached for a fridge magnet to do so.  The first one I laid my hands on was one I'd bought for John during a holiday in Devon.  It read "Grow old with me, the best is yet to come!"  How ironic!  My lovely granddaughter was there and she gave me a big cuddle while I wept on her shoulder and told me that she'd always be there for us.

Stay strong sweetheart.  I really appreciate the loving messages you've sent to me and I'm sorry if I haven't replied but I know you will understand.

Love you loads!

Madge x x x x x x

Hi Angec

Thanks for your message, spoke to Debbie to chase up appointment about ears, 9th Aug is their earliest so thats that but she also told me to stop the olive oil now and use sodium bicarbonate as you suggested, I too hope I,m doing a brilliant job, and most days I think I am its just the bad ones that trip me up.  Thanks again x

Hi Joycee

Thanks for your message, Dave did go to see Cat and he mentioned to her that he was going to cancell, she rang me as he left and said she doesnt want him left on his own at the moment because of his low mood as I was going away with my daughter this weekend so he has agreed to come too. we will take our caravan (wish me luck as i will be towing for first time) as well so he still has his own space. Glad he is because he has never liked being on his own anyway, bloody men, worse than kids ha ha. We always hurt the ones we love and being on the front line it will always be me, (have told him he was born grumpy in the past ha ha) and I understand he doesnt always mean it. I see the struggle every day Joycee as your hubby does, and it breaks my heart that every day there is something to battle again. Hope your doing better love, you all need a break so we can have one too ha ha.  We still love each other and thats what keeps us helping each other get through this. Love to you both, thanks again Joycee xxxxxxxxx

Hi Madge

Thanks for message, never expected reply to PM or posts as know you would be busy with John, hope he is still doing ok. You may have noticed my update yesterday was "sometimes i wake up grumpy......sometimes i let him sleep" that was a fridge magnet. I have loads that family and Dave have bought, but the grumpy one i gave Dave a few months before he was diagnosed, I had a little tear too as there are holiday ones as well. We fight as much as they do Madge with this bloody awlful desease, suppose we could be called the silent partner although im not very quiet when im screaming at someone to do something, not ladylike either ha ha, Take care of youself Madge, your work is harder than mine, you need to stay healthy, bet your sick of us all keep telling you that, but you do the same to us :) Love to you both, oh whens the wedding ? Thanks again (((((XXXX)))))))