I have heard this word used for many years by our old friend Russ (he will be so pleased he has been published :) ) Usually Russ quietly saying it to Dave, at which time Dave would be throwing something up the wall, stamping on it or breaking it in half. Not always a pretty sight to see your man jumping around screaming like a spoilt 2yr old just because something went wrong, but funny all the same.
Many moons ago during first fateful marriage (twenty two-timing, rotten, stinking, fat, dirty bastard) I had progressed to a twin tub washing machine, loved that machine, had to sit on it sometimes to stop it moving round the kitchen when the spinner was on... I used to sit the kids on it too....One time I remember while they had an ice cream. It didnt bounce that much but having nutty children, they decided to exaggerate the movement, thrashing from one side to the other... (maybe I just didnt notice they were trying to beat each other up) ...they were plastered with ice cream but we had a great time that day.
Well my beloved machine failed me, should have expected it, the ttt,r,s,f,d,b of a husband had bought it, second hand too. In the middle of a big wash day, added stress of extremely bad, megga PMT aaaaaaaah
I tried the belt, the pump, checked fuses even though it turned on........anger growing by the second I opened the back door...........and launched it......never to work again :( bye bye washing machine.............
The Stabbing
While we were managing a pub (thats when I stopped drinking, one of us had to be sober) about 16yrs ago one of our customers had a tackle & bait shop, he used to arrange fishing competitions. they would all meet in our pub in the morning then return for the weigh in. Lots of eels would be caught so Dave (oh wise one) told them to bring them back and he would cook them. Had fish flapping round my feet and eels galore in buckets. Smelly bloody things. Anyway Dave had the job of sorting the eels, so I left him at the kitchen sink doing just that.
On my return I nearly died..................with laughter
Dave being so engrossed in his work didnt hear me come in, as I reached over the washing machine (yes another one, automatic, posh now) to get something he started stabbing wildly. Slippery eel I thought, but no ...........he was stabbing my waste pipe!!!!! Had it hanging over the sink............STOP........ With a look of fear he questioned what I was shouting at, my bloody washing machine you idiot, what you doing.........to which he relpied on close expection, oh thought a little bugger was escaping............ROFL, laughed so much nearly wet myself.......... Obviously moved the pipe once renewed.
So neither of us have great joy with inanimate objects (washing machines) and many more stories to tell, but thats for later.
