I’m still at that point where I’m just numb & fuzzy about everything.
I received a phone call Friday from the hospital asking me to attend an appointment Monday, I said I was working so couldn’t attend. The nurse/assistant was very insistent that I should attend but I was just as insistent that I was working and couldn’t just take a day off. She was very put out by this and said they would have to call back later.
I have had a few appointments for a couple of things so didn’t really know what it was all about. About 10 mins later the phone rang again and the person introduced herself as Dr xxxxxxxxxx she explained that it was her that this new appointment was for and that she needed me to attend. Again I explained about work and that I just couldn’t not turn up for work. I think she realised I wasn’t going to give up and she then said that it wasn’t how she liked to do things but would it be OK for her to give me some information over the phone? This worried me a bit and I said yes it was OK.
She explained that the Biopsy results for a lump on my neck had come back and asked what I had been told about the lumps? I said that I was told they were probably swollen glands and no more! OK she said ............ The results had come back positive for Hodgkins............ The rest I can’t really remember............ I watch programs on TV so knew what she meant, and she said I needed to attend Monday so she could give me more information and start more tests......
Well............ What a way to start a weekend. I contacted work told them of my call and of course they said don’t worry about us GO (I was going now anyway if they could cover me or not)
I called my wife and told her...... Not the best thing to do but I couldn’t just wait till she got home I was feeling, I don’t know how I was feeling!
The news wasn’t received well by her either, work sent her home and we sat and cuddled for the rest of the day not saying much really.
Saturday morning I woke at 2am for some reason, my brain working overtime. I don’t know what was going on but I couldn’t sleep. My wife turned in her sleep and touched my arm and I just cried...................... We had a good hug and I told her to go back to sleep and that I was getting up. I sat watching the TV, well I wasn’t really watching it, it was there and I was looking at it.
My wife got up later and we got ready and went out shopping, all was fine until for no reason I felt myself well up and I had to stop as I felt myself ready to cry again. I composed myself and we went back to the car and came home.
We sat and cuddled again that afternoon. The rest of the day is a blur......
Today I’m working although my mind isn’t on my work; I’m worried about my wife at home and tomorrow’s appointment.
What will they say what are they going to do..............
