Im still feeling numb, since i live on my own everything feels normal when im on my own at home. But being up mums today clearning out her home, was heart breaking all her things, trying to decide who wants what and what we should throw, i feel so angry, theses are her things her house, why are touching her things? My brother and sister just iritate me, asking me to come for theres for christmas, they never wanted me or mum for christmas before it was always just us, ive decided im going away for christmas, they have only invited me to make them selfs feel better. my emotions change from hour to hour, angry, sad, alone, i feel sick all the time. i miss her already. it was always just me and my mum and now im all alone, people keep texting me telling me if i want anything let them know, what could they possible do for me.
i wish i could just get on a plane and go far far away and be on my own. excpet every penny that we have will be paying for the funeral. i just need to get away from everyone.
