its 3.30am and Im just back from hospital. Mum has been admitted tonight and docs thinks she has had a stroke caused by tumours having spread to brain.
Mum wasnt great today then went strange this afternoon, she couldnt seem to swallow saliva etc. Got ambulance tonight ,had to take her to local a&e dept, Shes meant to be going into hospice tomorrow and she didnt want anyone to call ambulance as she knew she'd end up back in that awful admisssions ward, which is exaclty where they are putting her. Gonna do ct head scan hopefuly later today but apparently no urgency as it wont change anything!!! as said by caring emergency doctor.
The xray technician wheeled her on trolley to get chest xray, pity he forgot she was on oxygen and practically decapitated her by pulling mask off! Then he forgot to hook her back up to oxygen when he came back, when I noticed I had to tell them to put it on!! shocking lack of care.
Have come home because we left kids home alone while we shot back out, eldest is perfectly capable but couldnt leave them overnight alone, will go back to be with Mum in the morning,
This is not fair, why could she have not got to hospice before this happened, why is she having to suffer so much? This is a true living sorrow. My poor mum, my poor stepdad. So what now, how long will she have to endure this. Will she leave us soon ( as I wish now after seeing her like this) or do we have to watch my poor mum be stripped of dignity and her soul.
I am heart broken, Mums biggest fear is to be trapped inside a useless body with an active mind. Thats whats happened, I couldn't understand what she was trying to say to me.Mum doesn't want the end to be like this. Mum I love you, its okay to go ,please go, dont want to see you suffering like thisxxxxxx
