I am not having a good day today, not sure why. Hubby having colonoscopy today - yes saturday , the NHS has started recognising 7 day weeks, lol(he has a condition which in some cases results in cancerous polyps so gets monitored every 2 years), I know he will be fine but for some reason I have been really down and tearful.
Still feeling really yucky with the pneumonia - think im going to end up admitted to hospital again which is the last thing I want. Youngest son's birthday on Friday so dont want to be in hospital for that.
Still havent accepted that my mum is gone, find myself picking up the phone to tell her something and every morning I wake up and it hits me like a sledgehammer. I know its early days, and reading other peoples blogs has helped me,. I feel really numb though, I cant seem to show my usual emotions about anything, its like they have been switched off. Even when my hubby/children give me cuddles, I dont actually feel warm. People are starting to talk about Christmas, and right now that fills me with dread, yet I know that when it comes we will still have a nice time - just can't accept that it will be without mum. Family get together on Friday for my youngests birthday, it will be difficult as its the first without Mum. It's also my stepdads birthday on Monday and Im really worried about him too.
Anyway enough of my randomness, gonna give myself a swift kick up the backside!!
Sharonxx
