Party last night went really well, all my family and freinds helped make it a lovely night. I really missed Mum being there but I knew that she would have been in a alot of discomfort if she had made the journey.
Had a few vodkas and danced till my feet were sore,asthma was playing up so sounded a bit like one of those adult chat lines whenever I spoke , heavy breathing etc lol!! But really enjoyed the night. Had to give a little speech and blow out my candles (OOOOH, the heat!!!). I got very emotional as I made my wish and mentioned Mum in my speech, but my friend was there for me when I had a wee cry outside.
Any way, mums birthday today. 67!! nephew 16 and sisters anniversary (yes he was born on her first anniversary!). Was a lovely sunny day, mum managed to sit out in the garden for a few hours. She was delighted with her photo of a ll her grandchildren, and made huge effort not to show her discomfort. She is such a brave and wonderful person, it must be difficult for her knowing that this is her last birthday. I am glad that the sun shone, I will always think of today and smile. xx
Only thing that worries me is that she has definately been using this week as a goal to achieve, and even said to my stepdad that she would be quite happy if she went now. I am terrified that she will die soon, although I know that it is inevitable and that she does not have long. I just wish I could put this day on hold forever but of course I know that I cant. This weekend has proven how difficult it will be to hold celebrations without Mum in future, but it has also created happy memories to keep inside forever.
Happy birthday Mum, Ilove youxxx
love Sharonxx
