Hi all
Once upon a time, I used to wake up on a Friday and think "great, its Friday!". I want that feeling back!! and not even eating a crunchie will help (lol!) as I am on a very strict deny myself everything sort of diet until my party next week!!!!! Diet that should have started about 9 months ago, left to 2 weeks before birthday!! I am definately going to still be fat and 40, but oh well!! ( I piled on 6 and a half stone with steroid treatment for my lung condition which I have never shifted because Im still on them in high doses!)
Was just about to leave to go to mums last night for our date with the minister ( mum wanted to arrange her own funeral and plan everything, I inherited my need to be in control of everything from her, lol!) and to ensure it will be a celebration. The phone rang, my stepmum. Dad has been re-admitted to hospital! At his routine appointment with his orthopedic consultant yesterday, he explained what had happened last weekend and that he was still feeling awful. Doc looked up blood tests from Mondays admission and was absolutely furious!! Dads red blood cell dangerously low, got strep in his bloodstream ! doc examined him and hes also got very enlarged painless lymph nodes in groin. So he got admitted rightaway, and heads are going to roll over him being discharged on Monday! Getting mri and ultrasound scans today hopefuly, we are thinking that he has another abscess inside his hip socket which has spread to his blood. My head's ready to burst with all this!
Anyway, it went great at mums last night. Although we had been totally dreading it, It was actually a very positive experience. We reminisced, mum got to say exactly what she wants from the service, choose music and make sure that we have a celebration of her life! We were emotional but in a good way, and Mum is pleased that she has done it,. Mnister actually said that in 30 years he has never managed to arrange a funeral in such a lightatmosphere and praised my mum's courage and strength. I'm sure he is not used to meeting the people he carries out funeral services for!! Hope I can be as composed when the time actually comes!!
Mums not going to make my 40th party next week, the journey will be too much for her and she would not be comfortable enough to get any sort of enjoyment out of being there. I knew that this was the most likely outcome and Mum would not let me cancel the party. I am really not in a celebratory mood, but will go ahead and make sure I raise my glass to Mum. Think it will be avery emotional night! Think that the kids need to see life going on as normal just now.
Granny number 2, my mum-in-law is still not well either. Docs coming out to see her today, looking likely that she needs to be re-admitted as well!! We are certainly using our quota up of the NHS just now. Feel a bit stressed again today and have found myself being more snappy than usual, but am trying to keep a lid on it.
Today the sun is shining over mums house:) she can sit and enjoy her garden and her dog, Ben. That is enough to make me smile today:).xx
