Well just an update on Mum today. She is now in a medical g.i ward and finally after 8 days they seem to have got the pain relief right, so thats something!! Upped her morphine pump today and what a difference it has made. She was talkative and able to sit upright for a while for the first time in 3 weeks.
Docs are tonight putting her on nasogastric feed until they can fit a stent on Wednesday next week. This is after 9 days without any form of nutrition, but at least she has been on glucose drip since early hours of Thursday morning. I helped her to have a shower in hospital this afternoon, first time shes been able to move in a week. I was very shocked as I havent seen her without clothes for a long while, and she is positively skeletal with too many tumours visible under her skin to count, but we had a laugh as i draped her pjs over the sink, not knowing that it was an automatic tap that came on with movement - one set of wet pjs later!!
I didnt realise how much I was affected by seeing her so vulnerable and wasting away until I was in the car on the way home, and I felt like my heart was going to break. But I am glad that at least things seem to be moving in the right direction, and I am now hopeful that after the stent is fitted she will be able to go home for a while, and will not need to transfer directly to the hospice.
So I am going to hold that thought and hope things go as planned this weekend. This has been a very long week after the events of last weekend, and I feel a bit wrung out! Felt torn in two yesterday, as it was my youngest's first day at high school and he was very nervous (he is normally quite confident, but this is probably a result of his brother and sister telling him horror stories about what happens lol!). Anyway because of the strict visiting times in mums ward (got a rollicking from the staffnurse for asking to go in 5 mins early!), I wasnt able to be home for him arriving home after school and I felt really bad about it. I am very lucky that I am normally always there because I have severe brittle asthma which means I am often housebound or hospitalised, but also means I have always been able to spend lots of time with my children, which has been great. (they have grown up with me in and out of hospital and are all really good kids, helping out a lot. Hubby says my 13 year old daughter is a total mini me, organising everyone including him when Im admitted to hospital).
Anyway, sorry for waffling on, its quite hard to keep life normal at home for the kids and do the 50 mile round trip every day too - omg am now on the petrol stations list of most frequent customers lol- but life has to go on at home too.
I love my mum so much!
Sharonxx
