Yesterday was another chaotic day, and for some reason I just feel like crying today!!
Didnt start well, got a phonecall when I was getting ready to go to mums with my best friend, from my stepmum. My dad was in hospital, having collapsed on Sunday night!! Dad has been quite unwell over last few years after MRSA entered his bloodstream following a hip operation and almost killed him. Anyway, apparently he was very confused, then collapsed. Was admitted overnight to hospital and they coulnt find out whats wrong, so have sent him home again, but he's still not right.
Next, my sister-in-law phoned to say g.p was out to see my mum-in-law, and is very concerned that the infection in her foot is getting worse again (only home from hospital on Friday after being seriously ill with septicaemia and pneumonia due to infection from foot getting into bloodstream!) Think she will have to be re-admitted but waiting to see how it goes!!
Then, I finally made it out to mums. Sun was shining, and she had managed to get out to the garden to lie on her recliner., so I thought that the day was looking up. When my stepdad went out, she broke down and said that she had got really upset because she is now too weak to get up the stairs and had had to be half carried to the shower. She looked really skeletal yesterday, and my friend was visibly shocked as she hasnt seen her since the diagnosis. I consoled Mum as best I could, can't even cuddle her because all the tumours are too tender.
Then my eldest son came home from school, he is having a bad week due to his chronic fatigue/fybromyalia and was really exhausted and headachy. I feel so bad for him, he just wants to be a normal teenager. He wanted to go out with friends on a cycle, but couldnt find the energy and he was quite angry yesterday that he has this condition.
My sis phone me this morning. Apparently after I left Mums she was unable to get from the garden into the house and almost collapsed. Also, sis had been speaking to her about next week's party and thinks that the effort to be there will be too much for Mum. I agree but am really devastated and not really wanting to have the party anyway - mum doesnt want me to cancel.
So here I am this morning, can't stop crying. Don't know why, just feel really overwhelmed by everything today. Probably got PMT, which wont be helping!! Nor is the fact that Im forty next week and mums birthday too. Just need to pick myself up and get on with it, but today that just seems very difficult. Mum is being amazingly brave, and we need to be too. Still got Thursdays arragements to get through too.
struggling today to find a positive....but then I remembered. My nephew who is 16 next week (shares his birthday with mum and his parents wedding anniversary) and who left school despite his parents missgivings, had his first job interview yesterday and got the job!!! He is going to be training as a parts specialist for a Ford garage!! Delighted for him.
Hope today gets better.
