It is another beautiful day. Mum slept thru the night and I at least got some rest in a proper bed. Ellie said mum slept soundly apart from a couple of times when she was a wee bit restless. The carers came at 7am and gave her a wash in bed. They didn't get her dressed as she remained asleep throughout and is still sleeping now. They tried to get her to take her meds but she said NO and has had nothing to eat or drink. She seems very peaceful when she's sleeping, which is a blessing as she becomes so agitated when she's awake.
Nicola, the district nurse phoned this morning and I explained about mums problems with swallowing and my concern that she won't take any more meds orally. She is hoping to come out with the GP today to review her medication with a view to stopping anything mum doesn't need and giving her what she does need either by injection or syringe drive.
My aunt and uncle have just set off back to Scotland. They wanted to stay but Rebecca is 6 tomorrow and I know she'd miss her gran and granda so have insisted they go. We were all very tearful and I tried to wake mum to tell her they were going but she is sound asleep so they gave her a wee kiss and told her they'd see her soon as they'd be back down. How I wish she had spoken to them as I could see their hearts were breaking having to leave her. I'm crying now just thinking that it might be the last time they see her.
I have sent my uncle up home with instructions for arranging mums funeral at home. My dads ashes were scattered in the crematorium rose garden and I want mums funeral there and her ashes scattered where dad is. My uncle is an atheist and can be very dismissive of my, or anyone elses faith, even though he was brought up in the church as mum and I were. I was worried he would start asking why I wanted a church of scotland minister etc. but he didn't and I'm grateful for that as it's really important to me and to mum.
So now it's just me and mum and to be honest I need her to myself for a wee while as much as I'll miss them and the support they've given me. I'm not completely on my own as Gillian is only next door and I've got plenty of support from the various health professionals who are looking after mum. They are all fantastic and I thank God that I brought her home and she has such a good team looking after her and keeping her comfy. I can't fathom why the care as an inpatient at the hospital is so lacking and yet the care from those in the community and in oncology is outstanding but I am grateful that it is.
The sun has shone all week and there isn't a cloud in the sky this morning. How I'd love to take mum out for the day. My heart is breaking but mum seems peaceful which I'm thankful for.
