Well it says 'discription', so that is where I'll start. I've always had a very unhealthy relationship with mother, she's not really showed much love towards me in fact in my teenage memories are of her being jealous of me and hurling abuse at me whenever the mood took her..So that's how I would describe my relationship with her....Difficult. Mother was diagnosed with this brain tumour after having several falls and a seriously bad attitude problem (worse than usual)! So after the initial shock of the diagnosis it was decided that she wouldn't be offered any treatment , because of where it's situated and her age etc. She wants to stay in her own home as long as is possible along with her uncle, and although he's deaf and blind with dementia I made it my goal to see this through. I live an hour away ( 86 mile round trip) so doing the cleaning, washing, shopping all the things that go with keeping a house running every day just too much for me..well along with keeping my long suffering husband and our own home running smoothly too knackering. I decided to let the Mac nurses help out with supporting us all, and wanted them to be involved with mothers progression as I was told we may have 6 months left with her. I also had to get carers in as well because they needed a routine, and it would give me a chance to back off a little! I couldn't have carried on much longer, her demands and expectations of me were just never ending, so having the help as been a godsend to me. I skirted over the fact that she has put demands on me far greater than most daughters would put up with, she has told me and anyone else who will listen that I don't do enough and any other daughter would move in to help her mother!! (2 bed cottage, both bedrooms taken up) She's screamed at me for being selfish, accused me of using her BT to my advantage?! But my main problem at the mo is her spending..she has never managed her money very well, in fact she's always been one of those people who robs Peter to pay for Paul ( or is it the other way round?) where as I always say if I can't find the cash for it, I can't afford it. She is obsessed by QVC and buys everyday from there on her debit card, is she wants a cardigan, she will buy it in EVERY colour, last month it was slinky awful trousers, she bought them in every colour but also in the two styles..slim leg and wide leg, she now is the proud owner of 39 pairs of slinky trousers!!!!!!!!! I have POA, and it was suggested I give mother her pension money every week and she would also have her debit card for emergencies...Not QVC! Her post is redirected to me because she can't manage her finances, so I get to see her statements for her spending which is totally out of hand and she just cannot afford it. When I've said 'we' need to ease up and she must go easy on her card I've been told to eff off and that's all she has to look forward to and how can I begrudge her that simple pleasure? And wait for this to happen to me and see how I like it!! So I just have to deal with this as best I can and thank goodness for my fantastic Mac therapist, she lets me moan and curse for a whole hour, she never judges me, just offers advice when she can get a word in!! I honestly don't think I would have got this far without her. I know this blog seems to be very anti mother, that's not the case at all, she's my mother and I will do all I can to help her, she the one who's suffering most. I know that. But I can't help feeling as the carer to the two of them that MY life has been blown apart too!! Till the next installment....Much Love to you all Mandy.X
