Can you believe it?? Mother wants a spray tan!!!!! A bloody spray tan, for gods sake.
It seems she now thinks she's entitled to everything I do ( I've only ever had 1 spray tan and that was 3 years ago) but she's adamant she will have one.
If that wasn't enough to put up with one of her neighbours rang me to tell me she's asked her to look out for a 'maxi dress' for the summer..God alive she's 83, not that there's anything wrong with being 83 but she's not the sprightliest of 83yr olds and well, I just don't think it's right and she's not bloody having one. So there!
I managed to have a chat with her doctor today,she's brilliant and totally understands where I'm coming from.
She seems to think having visited her last week that mother is envious of me ( tell me something I don't know) because I'm the well one. I did inform her that mother has been envious of me since I was 13!!
The doc is very suprised at how slow the tumour is growing but does think her her behaviour is a LITTLE worrying, she also thinks mothers memory and cognitive skills are in decline...Well she is 83!
I did manage to have a quick overnight stay with my scrummy granddaughter on Friday, it was bloody brilliant, she cheers me up no end, although I could do without the name..nana Podge!!!! Alright you can stop chuckling now, it's because my dog is called Podge and not because I'm on the slightly curvy side ( well alright I am but it's still cos my dogs called podge!!)
Oh the other thing I forgot to mention mother also had an old boy in to decorate her kitchen and sitting room, he was there 3 days, she didn't ask how much...She just gave him £500.00!!!!!
Just to piss mother off all the more I think I'll get myself a spray tan and a maxi dress and turn up at hers, can you imagine the fall out?!?!
Hugs to each and everyone of you.
XxXxXx
FormerMember
Well, Nana Podge, it IS bikini season.
Sorry that you have to deal with all this. At least she isn't ordering maxi dresses off the television.
A little family history of grandparent nick names... My sister and I called our grandmothers Black Grandma and White Grandma (not what you think- one had dark hair and one white hair). My kids called their grandmothers Old Grandma and New Grandma. (my mom was Old Grandma and not very pleased about it.)
Thanks Mandy you've really given me a good chuckle, actually I might have to go change my knickers nw hee heeeee :). I'm picturing you swaning in looking orange with your maxi dress, don't know if you've watched Benidorm series? I think you should roll in on a scooter like Madge just 'cos I think it'd pee your mum off even more. Mind you if she's like my mum she won't go near a scooter and rather be pushed around in a wheelchair, phew hard work haha.
Hello Podgers oh dear I'm sorry but I had to laugh.Im a bit crinkly and I had visions of the person doing the spray tan trying to get in all your mums crinkly bits she could end up a kind of stripy orange.Well what next maybe tattoos? Or maybe she's been watching that TOWIE and shell want a vagazil.I think Jans idea of the scooter is a good one can we have photos please? Glad you enjoyed your Nana time big hugs Cruton xxx
Aw I think that's lovely that she calls you Nana Podge and I didn't for one minute think you were podgy ;) So nice that you got to spend some time with her
I reckon you should get yourself a spray tan and a maxi dress and just act like its completely normal for you to do that. All this talk of spray tans is making me wonder if I should have one ready for Florida lol - do they actually work or do you end up streaky?? £500 for three days sounds like a lot - did he at least do a good job?!
Your mother does sound like she's going a little bit bonkers (I hope that doesn't offend!!), good for you for speaking to the doctor about it all, did she say how best to deal with her behaviour and memory problems?
Oh and I'm with the others, definitely ride in on a scooter :)
I knew I'd started something with letting on the nana podge, if u must know I'm a svelt 6ft ...ahem cough cough!!!
It's funny how these names come about but seems quite normal..black/white nanas best be careful where you are when calling them!!
Haha yes the benidorm thing, mother wouldn't be as nice as her!!!and yes your right about the bloody wheelchair, but then suddenly gets a new lease of energy and jumps out and walks...!!
Don't even mention a vAgazil!!!!! Omg don't give her anymore ideas...
I think she is going a bit loopy cos she just rang me and asked for a picnic blanket??? I didn't ask why. Perhaps it's so she can sit cross leged singing Cumbaya!!! With her maxi dress on..hahaha
Ok this little podge is now off to sit in the sunshine with my coffee...much love n keep laughing.xxxxx
