new here but need to get emotions out somehow...
think it was earlier this year, my dad had lumo come on his face, we kept telling him to go doctors but he said he did and it was nothing, he said they did biopsy and it was ok...
about 3 months ago dad started getting bad back..he had 2 ambulances out for it and lots of doctor appointments, they kept telling him to get deep heat(what he said, and do exercises), the 2nd ambulance said he needed x rays, drs called dad back, he said they said it was twisted muscles.. then saturday about 11:30 i had phone call telling me dad has bad stomach pain and needed to go round as ambulance called..rang cab, by the time he got here dad had been taken to hospital..so i picked mum up and bought her back to mine(my mum has chemical imbalance in brain and suffers depression), so i rang hospital a & e but they said they couldnt tell me anything and to ring in morning, rang up and dad had been taken on ward, so went to see dad on the ward they said he was on and at the time we were told and was told he had been moved to different ward, so eventually got to see dad and dad said he had spotting on lungs, knew then it wasnt good..been a mess since, on monday went to see dad and dad called me and mum over and held our hand and told us he had cancer, lung, while we were there they moved him to respiratory ward, they left his records on the bed, i read them and it says incurable cancer, i wish my dad would tell me whats happening, nurses havnt helped, i am looking after mum and i have a 5 year old son too, have been ringing friends and family, after 14 years my fiancee and i finally booked our wedding last wednesday, we were all so happy, now it feels like my world has ended, my dad is a cockney, such a big proud man, he seems to have aged so much, and he is in such pain, i finally grabbed a nurse last night, during day i ranf macmillan and spoke to a lovely lady who had been through same thing and she said take pen and pad write what i want to ask..
i asked nurse medication, he is on steroids, mst, nebuliser and other bits for bowels etc, today he starts a 5 day course of radio therapy at addenbrooks, he is 65 next week and going to hospital for it on his birthday..i just keep thinking why us, i just want my dad, he is my rock, i am in contact with my mums medical team for help but still feel so alone, friends here have been wonderful but just feel like screaming.,
yesterday dad had a bronchoscopy and they took some lung, they say should have results by friday when we will know more, i just feel so empty, and guilty as i cant deal with my grief, mum seems in a bubble t moment, but think that may be for best, i have my sister and uncle coming at weekend to help, spoke to dad this morning, he is in so much pain, its heart breaking. i am seeing him at 7, the only things that are keeping me going is looking forward to seeing dad. trying to take each day one at a time but its so hard...
