Sorry, don't really know if there is a protocol for this, I'll just waffle on tho.
Feel Helpless.
My dad, now 82, suffered his first heart attack, aged 63, just before my daughter arrived in 1991, went on to have problems for the next few years.
In 2001 he had a triple bypass, didn't really want to undergo the surgery, but it gave him his life back & left him fit & active, a success.
In 2002/3 my mum started getting "forgetfull" and depressed quite a lot, surprisingly soon after she was diagnosed with dementia/alzheimers, beginning of a steady decline, from Mum being the absolute driving force of the marriage, to Dad taking full control & care, he even had to learn how to cook!
Just to wind back a bit, as far as a married life my paernets had it hard, they had 4 kids, only 2 of us survive, me, the youngest & my big sis, the eldest.
They had another daughter in the fifties, born with cystic fibrosis, passed away within months, my brother died in '84 in a car accident, hit by a drunk who ran away & left him, .
Back to the present, they moved to a bungalow a couple of years ago as mums reduced mobility meant stairs were a danger & a stair lift out of the question, the alzheimers society were a big help to my dad, possibly more than I was, wrapped up in my own trauma's, bringing up my own kids.
Anyway he starts feeling sick last Septemberish, numerous test, more test's after xmas, camera's, losing weight, anaemic, poor old bugger & then the call, I just happened to be at his house on the Friday, "can you send a medicar" (doesn't want to drive to hospital) "no" comes the answer "you need someone with you"
Slowly over the next 48 hours those words start to gain significance, why does he need someone with him, by Sunday tea I'm convinced, its cancer, it all fits, weight loss, anaemicetc. BUT there is no history of cancer (other than self inflicted lung) in the family. Spend Sunday night in tears, feel sick Monday as I push the old boy to his date with destiny & yep, delivered with great feeling & compassion by the specialist, the first person I have ever been close to that has cancer.
The Rollercoaster of emotions begins, I feel helpless.
