the journey

2 minute read time.

my amazing dad has been battling cancer for nearly 2 years now(wish i had found this site then)i thought i would write a diary /blog of how his treatment is going. it all began back in april 2009 when a urine infection showed up a tumour on his right kidney.he was whisked in to hospital to have the kidney removed within a week and the op was a success.he felt great after the op and back to normal within days so it came as a great shock to us all at his 3 month check up that the cancer had returned.they found small nodules on his lungs and tumours in the bone(hip and bottom of back) by the start of october dad had been given the cancer drug sutent.the side effects he felt made him lose weight all his hair went snowy white,had no taste for food and nausea. the nausea was controlled with different drugs.one of the good things about this treatment was you got a 2 week break in each cycle so on his 2 weeks off his appetite returned and he started to feel better. the sutent meds kept him ticking away for 14 months.we got the news end of nov begining of dec 2010 that a tumour in the spine had grown from 7cm to 18cm so the sutent was not keeping the cancer at bay so he was removed from it. this came as a huge blow to mum,dad myself and brother as who knew what the next step would be. he suffered with pains in his legs and a scan showed a non malignant tumour compressing the spine making the legs painful so he had 2 lots of radiotherapy which def helped and shrunk the tumour.dad was told of a new drug that they wanted him to trial.sadly he was not suitable for the trial due to blood counts etc but was told there was a fairly new cancer drug called everolimus(afinitor) they wanted him to try. this however would need funding.the price was very high but like the sutent(which needed funding we were optomistic.the news back 2 weeks later was no PCT had turned us down but dads consultant had applied to another company and they said yes.dad has been on the new treatment 10 days now.the main side effect of this is such a sore swollen mouth with ulcers which stops his ability to eat and drink.he does seem quite out of it at the moment so we are contacting mcmillan nurses and his cancer nurse.

7th march 2011

dad has been admitted to hospital.for the last 4 days or so he has been quite out of it.he is very dissorientated ,grabbing for things that are not there,hallucinations,sleeping 22 hours a day.we have spoken to a nurse and she seems to think it could be to do with his type 2 diabetes as he had a urine reading of 27.8(very high) we were told to take dad to his cancer ward at the hospital where it seems it is not the diabetes but a build up of morphine pain relief(mum did stop giving him this 2 days ago as pain was ok and because he seemed so out of it)they have kept dad in for at least overnite and the morphine has been stopped. they have also stopped the cancer drug for now as his poor mouth is so sore so they want to try an get him back to better health before restarting the drug again. i will update when i have more news.

Anonymous
  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hi Twizz, just been catching up with your posts. I'm glad your wedding was so lovely, there must have been happiness tinged with sadness at the space where he should have been but I'm quite certain he would have been so proud that you carried on and had the wedding. Father's Day was a struggle for us too. My little brother came up from London and we went to put fresh flowers on the grave. The graveyard was really really busy, obviously a lot of people do the same thing on Father's Day, Don't worry about the crying, I do it too so you're not the only one. I'm especially bad in the car or in bed in that time just before you fall asleep, the moments when I have time to think. It's still not feeling quite real for me, it hasn't quite sunk in that I'll never speak to him again, the enormity of it hasn't registered. I'm guessing that when it does it'll be unpleasant.  Enjoy your weekend in Cornwall, I'm so jealous, it sounds gorgeous!! Thinking of you and your family and keep us posted as to how you're doing, all the best, Vikki xxx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    JUNE 27th 2011

    sean and i have just got back from a lovely long weekend in cornwall.we stayed ina beautiful 5 star hotel and spa and it was fab.the weather was good for us also which helped and we had a lovely walk along the gorgeous coast and beach.it was so relaxing and just what we both needed. sean took me for a lovely meal on the saturday night in the hotel.we started off with some champagne before dinner.everything was perfect and we were chatting about mum and dad and before i knew it the tears were pouring ( the one time i didnt want to cry as the eve was so perfect and i did) as sean said its ok to cry when and wherever i want.it just seemed a little floodgate opened and i openly cried at the table for half an hour on and off (im sure the other diners must have been trying to 2nd guess why) i did feel much better after and sean said he had been waiting for me to have a breakdown and will always be there if there are any more to come.im so lucky to have a fantastic family and now an amazing husband to support me.

    now we are back to reality tomorrow with work so enjoying one last evening at home relaxing

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hi Twizz

    I haven't read all your blog but from the little I have read you have had such an emotional journey and my heart goes out to you.  I'm sure your dad had a hand in the sunshine for your wedding photographs and that he was there in spirit.

    By the sound of it, you couldn't have picked a more loving husband.  I'm so glad you have someone to cherish and care for you.  Look after one another and treasure all the magical moments that I'm sure are in store for you.

    Lots of love and *hugs*, Madge x x x x x

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    JUNE 29th 2011

    last night we stayed at mums.sean is still trying to fix my car there so we had lovely dinner.i then went off to play netball and when finished my friend and photographer at the wedding had our portfolio of pics ready...over 350 pics and they are amazing.took them back to mums and me mum and sean looked through them all.....so sad that my dad is missing from the pics so felt sad at that. also mum has given me dads wedding ring and i was overcome with emotion at this gesture but tried to hide it in front of mum....why do i do this...surely i should not worry about breaking down in front of my loved ones?

    i was quite emotional for some of the day yesterday and got quite panicky at one point knowing my lovely dad is gone and my chest hurt and was really tight

    today im feeling better.mindyou i am manic with work today so its keeping me busy but dad is never ever very far from my thoughts

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    JUNE 30th 2011

    this morning has been quite emotional. as usual the first thing i do when im up and about is log on to here. it semed every blog and post on my news feed related to how i was feeling so for the last half hour i have been reading how others are feeling and coping.the tears have been streaming realising im not alone in how i feel and i have been busy replying to many posts...even though these people to me are strangers who i have never met i feel like they are all life long friends going through exactly what i am and to all of you on here i feel i am close to you and want you to know i care and send hugs and best wishes to you all

    right ,time to pull myself together and head out into the beautiful sunny day here and carry on with life...or more to the point robot mode way of life as thats how i seem to be coping at the moment