the journey

2 minute read time.

my amazing dad has been battling cancer for nearly 2 years now(wish i had found this site then)i thought i would write a diary /blog of how his treatment is going. it all began back in april 2009 when a urine infection showed up a tumour on his right kidney.he was whisked in to hospital to have the kidney removed within a week and the op was a success.he felt great after the op and back to normal within days so it came as a great shock to us all at his 3 month check up that the cancer had returned.they found small nodules on his lungs and tumours in the bone(hip and bottom of back) by the start of october dad had been given the cancer drug sutent.the side effects he felt made him lose weight all his hair went snowy white,had no taste for food and nausea. the nausea was controlled with different drugs.one of the good things about this treatment was you got a 2 week break in each cycle so on his 2 weeks off his appetite returned and he started to feel better. the sutent meds kept him ticking away for 14 months.we got the news end of nov begining of dec 2010 that a tumour in the spine had grown from 7cm to 18cm so the sutent was not keeping the cancer at bay so he was removed from it. this came as a huge blow to mum,dad myself and brother as who knew what the next step would be. he suffered with pains in his legs and a scan showed a non malignant tumour compressing the spine making the legs painful so he had 2 lots of radiotherapy which def helped and shrunk the tumour.dad was told of a new drug that they wanted him to trial.sadly he was not suitable for the trial due to blood counts etc but was told there was a fairly new cancer drug called everolimus(afinitor) they wanted him to try. this however would need funding.the price was very high but like the sutent(which needed funding we were optomistic.the news back 2 weeks later was no PCT had turned us down but dads consultant had applied to another company and they said yes.dad has been on the new treatment 10 days now.the main side effect of this is such a sore swollen mouth with ulcers which stops his ability to eat and drink.he does seem quite out of it at the moment so we are contacting mcmillan nurses and his cancer nurse.

7th march 2011

dad has been admitted to hospital.for the last 4 days or so he has been quite out of it.he is very dissorientated ,grabbing for things that are not there,hallucinations,sleeping 22 hours a day.we have spoken to a nurse and she seems to think it could be to do with his type 2 diabetes as he had a urine reading of 27.8(very high) we were told to take dad to his cancer ward at the hospital where it seems it is not the diabetes but a build up of morphine pain relief(mum did stop giving him this 2 days ago as pain was ok and because he seemed so out of it)they have kept dad in for at least overnite and the morphine has been stopped. they have also stopped the cancer drug for now as his poor mouth is so sore so they want to try an get him back to better health before restarting the drug again. i will update when i have more news.

Anonymous
  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hi Twizz, I log in here first thing as well! I think I'm at the same stage as you, where things are beginning to hit home. That time when you're in bed trying to go to sleep is my hardest time, the day is ok because it's full and busy and so the 'day stuff' doesn't give me time to think but at night it's different and it's then I cry. I miss my dad. I want him back to fix things. I'd give everything I own and everything I'll ever own for one more hour sitting in the sunshine with him chatting like we used to. I think back to how I moaned about having to do a full day at work and then get all the way across the city to Christies because I thought we'd have more time and I'd get time with him at home, months of it. If I'd known how little there was I'd have skipped there every night and made every single minute count but I didn't. And I hate that. IT helps to know that there are people on here that understand how things are for us and how difficult it is, makes me feel less alone. I've got two friends who've lost a parent and they've been fantastic.

    Keep plodding on Twizz, we'll get there in the end. Thinking of you xxx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    you are never alone twizz while you are here

    there will always be someone to help you

    hugs hun

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    JULY 2nd 2011

    thanku for the lovely comments on here.it truly helps and i never feel alone here.

    i am up at seans house this weekend and the sun is shining.we are going to visit his mum and then his sister today and tomorrow his daughter is in a gymnastics display so we will go to watch that.

    my daughter has now set up on facebook a in memory of her grandad page. its beautiful with lost of pics and me and my brother had a good cry when we saw it. she is so thoughtful and thought it was a good idea and way for family to keep in touch and post pictures.

    i cant beleiev its been 5 weeks since dad passed away. at times it feels like yesterday and other times a lifetime ago. how our lives have changed. i miss him constantly and am very emotional at the moment as each time i think of him i feel the tears welling up.sometimes i hold them back other times they flow free. i feel like part of me has died when he did. ive had several dreams about him and cancer. i guess my mind is in overdrive when im sleeping

    love to u all in mac land x x

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    JUNE 4th 2011

    mum popped over this orning as she was taking charlie to college to be a model for her for a pedicure. when she was here i asked her if she wanted to come on holiday with us all when we go to sicily in august. she got really emotional which started me off.she said she will think about it but we all hope she will come with us. josh has gone away to france with the school for a week so the house is quite quiet. after i dropped him off i spoke to 1 of my friends there who said how sorry she was about my dad and we got chatting as her dad died from cancer 2 years ago and we both got quite emotional.

    apart from the odd emotional blip today has been ok,busy with work....charlie is now buzzing this evening as sean took her out for a 2 hour driving lesson and said she did really well

    off to bed soon as feel really tired tonite

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    JULY 5th 2011

    this morning im very emotional. i didnt sleep well last night and just cant seem to settle at the moment.

    mum read my blog over the weekend. it took her about 2 hours to read it all and used a box of tissues up. ive tried to be as honest and open as i can writing this so hope it didnt upset her too much or other people that read it but i really feel its something i have to do. i think its my way of coping,writing everything down and as upsetting as it is doing this i do find comfort in it and as long as i need to i will continue my blog.hopefully when i look back on this i will see a turning point when things become brighter and more positive