So. Today was the first of the scheduled monthly checkups with the team of doctors who have been treating my cancer (what an odd term "my cancer", like its something to be proud of!) and everything went well. I've not had a scan or anything yet, just an examination of the mouth and neck, but nonetheless they seemed terribly pleased with themselves.
Its not an all clear, not by a long shot, but it *is* the first step to getting one, after the pain and problems of recent months it is a welcome relief to know that things have, in fact, gone to plan. Something you can never be sure of with the dreaded big C, but thus far - for me at least - things are going well.
Eating is slowly getting easier, some things still pose a serious challenge - a sandwich is damned hard work - but I am happy with what I can manage and glad to be mostly off any suppliments and be free of the dreaded food pump. Speaking of which, seeing as I basically stopped using it during our little family break (because I had to - I wasn't going to carry the damned pump around all day like before) and managed to maintain my weight I was allowed to have the PEG tube taken out.
It wasn't painful as such, a shock when the nurse did it and pressed a dressing onto the stoma site (which was painful), but it is a relief to be rid of it. It doesn't snag when pulling my trousers up and doing them up, its not there to get in the way when turning over in bed. Bliss. I do now have what looks like, for all intent purposes, like a small second belly button below my sternum. Its a little weird to see it there at the moment, but i'd rather that than have a bloody tube dangling down.
Other than that there is little to report, eating is definitely getting easier, it takes me a lot longer than it used to - small mouthfuls are easier to manage and control than big ones - but there is little I have tried recently that I have really struggled with. Bread is the worst, i just don't have enough saliva to eat anything that is really porus very easily - but all it takes is to have a drink handy to help it down. No sign of my beard coming back - yet - an odd hair here and there on my neck but nothing below the cheek. Its a bit like being a teenager again - my beard was slow to come whilst I was growing, so maybe it'll slowly fill out and come back after the abuse of the radiotherepy.
One thing I have discovered is that my shoulders are really weak compared to what I can remember (I simply cannot hold both arms at right angles to my body, only out in front) - I checked with the surgeon and this is normal. The trapezoid muscles in my neck have atrophied from a combination of lack of use and nerve damage from the surgery. He recommended I take up swimming, start with a breast stroke and very slowly work my way towards a front crawl. This is great advice, apart from the fact that I have all the natural swimming ability of a big stone. As long as I want to swim down - I can do great. Its anything else that presents a problem. I think I will give that a miss, I'd rather get back into cycling and karate to build strength back - although I am a while away from being able to cope with either for any length of time. I have managed to get out on my bike though, I can only manage a couple of miles but its a start.
Its surprising how much you lose to this, I can't believe how much strength I have lost - it will be good fun to build it back up, I do (actually) really enjoy a good work out :-)
