I've not been feeling up to much these last couple of days, fatigue is catching me and the side effects build.
The very tip of my tongue is burned. Its bloody agony at times, I have pain relief now and some new magic gel which the chemist will have tomorrow morning - these things should help. Thrush too, a common effect of the radio which I have stuff for too. These mean that, right now, I don't like talking. It hurts my tongue and the horrid thick saliva makes me harder to understand. Which of course means everyone wants to talk to me suddenly. Typical :-) perhaps I needs sign or something to Huang around my neck "selective mute, don't talk to me" or similar. No, I don't mean that really, but it is annoying.
Generally I've been down, its not a pain thing, just a realisation that things are going to get hard for me. I have to face it, this is not a pleasant experience and its not going to get any easier. It was rather depressing to be told I'm following the normal curve when it comes to the effects. They expect to see this happening now, I really wanted to be better than that - but there isn't anything I can do but try to look toward the end of it.
More chemo tomorrow, oh joy. More nausea on Wednesday, double joy. Probably more weight loss and another nagging from the dietician on Friday. Honestly, you'd think I was some 9 stone stick insect the way they go on, not 13 stone. I think I can stand to lose a bit over the treatments, its not going kill me, not to hear them go on. Good grief. So what if I'm 12 stone by the time I finish? Its actually a perfectly healthy weight for my height.
Mind you, the attention - whilst very annoying at times - is very reassuring. I can't fault them for that. The NHS is totally worth the money in my book!
