What a difference a day can make, thats all I can say. My poorly wife has been better today, not 100% but at least she has eaten. Myself, I have had a good day today. I think not having a treatment for a couple of days gives you a real lift, I have heard that you can bounce back from the chemo and radio at weekends - whereas yesterday I still felt washed out and not entirely right, today has been a different matter. Interestingly there definitely looks like there is a stomach bug heading around the family, we wait to see who else goes down with it but there are rumblings from the three kids - well, two and the "young adult" :-P
This brings up a interesting conundrum, how on earth do I tell the difference between a stomach bug and the chemo side effects? It seems likely that last weeks sickness was in fact cause - in part at least - by a bug, at least we sort of hope so. I'd hate to feel like that every damned week after the chemo. I'll have to wait and see.
Anyway, back to toady, most interesting has been that I have not actually eaten any of the "mush" I normally eat. No pureed soup or smooth yogurt smoothies for me today, oh no. I don't know why but lunchtime started it. For reasons best known to my stomach I reallyfancied some chicken and bacon pasta to eat, so on the way back from town to feed the kids (before one of them started leaving teeth marks in the car upholstery - that boy always thinks with his stomach) we stopped off to get some supplies. I picked up sandwiches for the kids (I really fancy a nice beef and mustard sandwich, but I've not been brave enough yet - don't talk to me about salt and vinegar crisps, I would possibly bite your hand off for a chance to eat a packet of those) and a couple of pots of pasta for myself (and supposedly) the wife.
Bear in mind that I hadn't tried pasta since the operation before yesterday, so I wasn't sure how I'd go. I ate the whole pot though. My jaw ached a bit toward the end, I also had a couple of moments where I had to move stuff around in mouth with my finger (I don't know if this will ever change, so if you ever sit with me at a mealtime, I apologise now) so I could manage it, but by damn I got through it all. I felt pleasantly full and rather pleased with myself, I have to say. My stomach complained a bit with some hearty indigestion, but I shut that up by following it with a nice cup of tea into which I dunked a nice big white chocolate cookie from a packed my mum-in-law brought round for the kids (sorry kids!).
This was followed this evening by home made chicken curry. Note that home made means Korma (sorry, I can't take anything hotter at the mo, besides the kids wouldn't eat anything stronger) using a jar of Korma paste, rather than proper cooking from scratch, but the thought was there. I did it all myself too, which given how much the mere thought of food turned my stomach a couple of days before was something of a miracle. The last time we cooked this recipe I turned it into a chicken curry soup (of sorts) by blending it without any rice in it. Not for me today, oh no. Machismo had set in by this point and I went for it. I made more sauce than I would normally, putting extra stock in, I also served myself it for myself in a bowl (perhaps for comfort more than anything) but I didn't blend it. OK I did cut up the chicken chunks a little, but that was it. Rice and all I ate a normal meal, same as the rest of the family. Admittedly it took me twice as long to eat as anyone else, but I sat at the dinner table and enjoyed a family meal with them. The first for several months.
It was wonderful to do it, it was great to have a the return of another bit of normality in this madness, its another step forward in spite of the treatments. I have read about the bounce back you can get from the chemo, really down one day and then back up a few after when your body recovers. Hopefully each weeks bounce will be as good as this one, I think I can cope with that :-)
