Yesterdays was a somewhat short entry to my diary - its not that nothing happened, its just that I really didn't feel like writing much. Today has been a better day, of sorts, I have managed to eat better (more on that in a moment) and the nausea hasn't been as bad.
One thing has cropped up though - how on earth do I tell the difference between nausea caused by the chemotherapy and nausea caused by a stomach bug? Today my poor missus has really not been well, headaches, stomach ache, severe nausea and sickness. Basically she is either coming out in sympathy pains with me, because this is how I felt after the chemo, OR we have both actually had a small stomach bug and I didn't in fact suffer from chemo effects at all. Its hard to tell, I've not run a temperature (its checked every day now - you have to you know) and the anti-sickness meds they gave me for the chemo after effects have dealt with my stomach reasonably well. My appetite has not been there though, I have really not felt like eating over the past few days. I have managed a little light food, not even been able to stomach my much vaunted smoothies. I managed about 80% of one today, but that was about it.
Not sure what to do about that, I'm worried about my wife getting ill, worried about it going around the house and getting passed onto to me (chemo is busily suppressing my immune system) because at the first sign of trouble they will just admit me - which I don't want either. That would probably mean getting tube fed again, which I really don't want after last time AND it would take me away from where I need to be. I'm not 100% well, I know that, but I still have a family to look after and I need to be here for my wife, she only has a stomach bug I know (unless you can catch chemotherapy somehow!) but after everything she has done to look after me I *really* want to be able to look after her better than I am. At least I'm feeling better tonight that previously, I think eating that pasta has helped boost my energy a bit.
You can't help but worry about your loved ones when they get sick, but you can help by looking after them as much as they look after you.
Get well soon, wifey xxxx
