Well Toni's eaten all the lime jelly and its stayed down but he's still got the nausea. He really liked this one as it's refreshing. I've just made an orange one and he's also drinking ginger beer as recommended by Jenni and that also helps. So we will perservere.
Tomorrow he has an x ray. We think it's to check the stent is still in place but don't really know. I'm dreading it in case it's on the lungs and the x ray picks it up as we are coasting along quite nicely and that would set him back. Am I being naive? I think I probably am but it's just that he's starting to pick up, apart from the nausea, anmd I dread anything upsetting him and setting him back again.
I got a call from the occupational therapy department at the hospital who want to come and see him on Friday. I think it's to assess him doing things like getting in and out of the bath etc so they can see what help we can have. Sorted by the palliative care nurse so that's good. I get constantly surprised by all these offers. There's help and support out there but you don't always know where to get it. She has been a marvellous support to us in getting things done and helping us.
Toni's spent a lot of time sleeping over the last 3 days. When awake he chats and makes plans but quickly drops off again, sometimes half way through a sentence. It is a slow dying really - I keep losing bits of him. I read Jenni's blog in which she described not being able to cuddle her husband as it hurts him and I can really identify with that. You sort of lose your husband slowly. Perhaps that's all designed to help with the acceptance and grieving parts, I don't know. Maybe it prepares you and you don't really realise it. Time will tell. I do sometimes feel there is a big barrier there between us, caused by this rotten disease.
I'm signing off here early tonight as he's a little bit more alert now and I can go and chat to him.
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