We’ve all just settled into our routines now. The boys are used to me having no energy and disappearing for a nap, as well as the weekly trips to drop me off for my treatment. I’m so proud at how they have just accepted it as part of their life.
However, it does mean that they are so comfortable with it they talk to anyone about it. This is wonderfully and I’m so pleased but it does lead to awkward moments when my eldest “outs” me on video calls with his classmates!
I have chosen to not be fully public with my diagnosis. I’ve told my family, close friends, those that need to know at work and my sons teachers but not posted on social media or much beyond that. So many of my son’s classmates and their parents have no idea. We were having a catch up with T’s school friend over a video call and so her mum and I were in shot as well (as they’re only 6) and they were chatting away with each other. T being the chatterbox he is just casually mentioned “Oh I missed the show and tell class call yesterday as we were talking mummy to chemotherapy because of her booby cancer”...the look on the mum’s face was momentarily priceless and then we moved on the conversation, cue an apologetic message from me for not having said anything before!
But it has brought about an interesting feeling for me, I wonder if others have found this, if you haven’t shared your diagnosis with all? There are plenty of people I probably would have told had we not been in this current pandemic situation. People who I would be comfortable telling but perhaps not by phone, and I just can’t see them at the moment.
This has meant that there are a whole bunch of people I haven’t told who I now feel guilt about not telling, are they going to be hurt that they weren’t informed? It’s been too long now and it’s definitely awkward when people find out now, particularly if it’s accidentally.
I can only hope that those who find out eventually will know that it’s nothing personal and appreciate that not everyone wants the world to know whilst you battle through this and you can’t tell everyone personally particularly in a pandemic!
