So I am in my new routine, each morning I bid fair well to the boys and then I jump in my car and travel the 25 mins to my Radiotherapy centre. I have had 11 out of my 20 zaps now. I should have had 12, but there was one day when the machine itself was a bit poorly and so I had to be postponed for the day. In the end they needed to send a spare part all the way from the Netherlands. They were very apologetic, I was mostly worried about whether it would make a difference to the effectiveness of my treatment. They assured me that it would not, we can have weekends off and an extra day (it broke on a Friday) wouldn't make a difference.
Thankfully on the Monday it was up and running again so I am back on track! I am grateful that so far I have not suffered many side effects. I have some tiredness, but this is akin to a bit of fatigue after being in the sun all day and compared to the tiredness I was suffering during chemo feels much more manageable! I don't have any skin issues thus far, but have been rubbing my boob, underarm and all the way up to my neck at least three times a day with various creams; E45, Aveeno cream and Aloe Vera gel (nice and cold from the fridge). I do this at least when I wake up, after a shower, and before I go to bed and then anytime throughout the day I feel it necessary. This could be that I feel a twinge, a slight sharp pain as the scar tissue readjusts after the radiotherapy (a common side effect, not painful and not sustained for me, but noticeable), or just when I feel I need to keep it moisturised to stop me scratching.
It feels surreal that I am nearing the end of 'Level 3' as we have been calling it (Level 1 for me was chemo, Level 2 was my operation). After this I will continue to have some three weekly Herceptin until the end of the year but whilst that is still technically treatment, I am viewing the end of radiotherapy as the end of my active treatment so it all feels a bit odd to be coming to an end of it. Has anyone else felt this strange sense of foreboding about the end of treatment? I have had the good news after my operation so I know that treatment has done it's job, but still finishing treatment means that I am no longer actively fighting cancer or trying to stop it coming back? That just feels very scary? I need to now look to how I live in this post cancer world and I am not yet sure how I go about this.
As ever take care everyone x
