Hubby the boys and I ventured away for a few days this week and it was glorious. We didn’t attempt to do much didn’t plan the days but just wanted to get away and try and relax after this rather mad year for all of us!
We had been away the week before to stay with my Auntie (thank you!) which was lovely, but boy had I not really appreciated how much I still needed to recover. I have been in the gym at least twice a week and doing weight or other cardio workouts most other days which have been going well so naively I felt my energy levels were getting back up to pre-cancer me.
How wrong I was! One full day out with my auntie, hubby and the boys and I was absolutely shattered! We didn’t do anything excessive, we went to the beach (in the wind and rain, felt very British), wondered around a seaside town and then walked around her village and allotment. But it was the first day since the old cancer that I had spent the whole day (or at least nearly the whole day) walking around, and I certainly felt it!
So come this week, I had learnt my lesson and we were taking things more slowly, trying to listen to my body and remember that I had major surgeon only a couple of months ago not to mention four months worth of chemo! So we didn’t plan big days and wanted to keep things simple.
But I still managed to forget and get over excited and on our first proper day ignored my hubby who kept asking how I was and insisted I was fine to keep going, I was having too much fun with my boys and seeing them enjoy themselves. But after lunch and after walking for over 7 miles non-stop around Bath (which was lovely) my body said “hey enough is enough sit down you stupid women” and so I had to keep sitting down periodically for the rest of the day.
I was more sensible for the rest of our break making sure I didn’t push it in any big stretches; and that I made sure to listen to my body, however frustrating that felt.
The other interesting thing which happened whilst we were away is that we went swimming. I haven’t been swimming with my boys since last year and this was also the first time since having my op. As we walked to the swimming pool I suddenly panicked. What if it was one big communal changing room?
I don’t think I’m ready for strangers to see my scars? What if children star and ask their parents questions, I would love to be that positive person that just says “don’t be afraid to ask questions, yes I had cancer, etc” but in all honesty the thought of someone seeing it or scaring a child just made me want to cry. It made me realise that whilst I’m now fairly comfortable with my new boob and how I look I’m still not at peace with it enough for this just yet, there is some way to go.
Thankfully as I think is the case for most places these days, the changes rooms were all separate so it wasn’t an issue, a huge sigh of relief was felt!
Have any of you had a moment like this post treatment? How did you adjust to slowly returning energy levels? Any tips gratefully received! As every take care x
