I am nearly half way through my scheduled chemotherapy now. This Thursday will mark my 9th session out of 18 and until last week and for the most part I have 'gotten away' with some tiredness for a couple of days following my treatment with a few other side effects (dodgy tummy, bit of nausea, bad acne) but all in all could continue working and live my life.
However, this last week I have for the first time felt like someone who has been undergoing treatment for a serious illness. Monday came around following my treatment and instead of getting some energy back I found myself still in bed. Instead of a bit of a dodgy tummy I found myself relying more and more on the medication provided by my medical team. In short I was bed bound for a lot of last week and felt I was only functioning day to day due to the different meds I was taking on a daily basis. Needless to say work wise I was not very productive, although bonus of the current pandemic is I am working from home anyway! I did very little play with my boys and just generally felt miserable.
So it appears that the chemo has caught up with me, I am in fact not invincible and when I have my 'big doses' particularly I am now accepting that I am likely to be more tired and weary the following week for more than just a couple of days.
But this is all about acceptance and whilst I had a rubbish week last week, this week, following the Taxol only treatment has been much better. Not as good as previous weeks but a damn sight better than last week and I will take that! I am back working and feeling productive and creative, back playing with my boys (albeit mostly calmly and in a low-impact way) and I can prepare myself for the bigger weeks and how they will impact me.
We have also got my parents on board now and in our childcare bubble. This gives me and S a much needed chance for rest and the boys a much needed change of scenery and gives us that flexibility for when I have bad days moving forward which I have accepted are likely to increase.
But as some of you have said in replies to my posts, this too shall pass. It won't be forever and this journey will hopefully be over before I know it. Thinking of all of you who are finding your way through your challenges at this time.
As always take care. x
