I miss my Mum, it's so unfair and unreal

Hello,

I myself lost my mum 14 weeks ago and like you i cant and dont want to move on, this has to be the most difficult experiece i have ever been through, iv thought about going to church to see if that helps but cant seem to bring myself to go i dont want to celebrate god life, i keep wishing mum would show some signs to me but nothing i fell like i am still at the hospital when everbody else is moving on with thier lives. I still cant believe iv lost my mum and looking at pictures of mum i cant the pain is to much.

I wanted to share this becuase i wanted you to know that your not alone.

emma

Hello,

I myself lost my mum 14 weeks ago and like you i cant and dont want to move on, this has to be the most difficult experiece i have ever been through, iv thought about going to church to see if that helps but cant seem to bring myself to go i dont want to celebrate god life, i keep wishing mum would show some signs to me but nothing i fell like i am still at the hospital when everbody else is moving on with thier lives. I still cant believe iv lost my mum and looking at pictures of mum i cant the pain is to much.

I wanted to share this becuase i wanted you to know that your not alone.

emma

Hi Emma

Thanks for your comment, I did a reply the day after you sent yours, but I see it's not went/sent.... I forwarded the comment to my 2 sisters, as, like you say, we feel so alone, even though it's a busy world and we've all got things to do, you still feel like no one understands, so thanks for sharing your thoughts.  I feel - as my sisters do - that we are still standing still in time - for me, I still feel it's just after Christmas, as this is when things got very serious and I don't want to think any further on than this... It feels like Christmas/New Year/Jan/Feb were a couple of days ago, as, from November, I know every date that every appt was or bad news was given/when things started happening to Mum. I don't ever know the "date" just now, unless I'm at work or there is something on the calendar, I can't bear to think it is June and hate time moving on, just like you.  I know what you mean about the church/wishing Mum would show you signs... It's terrible, I just want to know my Mum is alright - like you say, a sign.  No way was Mum ready to "go", so I don't know that she is ok, wherever she is... Most people say "You know she is ok", but how do they/does anyone know, eh?  I too, think about the time Mum was in hospital for her last days, visions of Mum and what each day/night was like in the hospital and of course, how she didn't deserve this.   Nothing helps, does it? 

June has been the worst, with various "events" that Mum was supposed to be going to, like my daughters dance show, a local concert, a 40th, my sons nursery graduation.... then there's all the "firsts", I had the hygienist, who I hadn't seen and had to tell her, the dance show - Mum has been at at every one, some folk that I bump into, who didn't know/I seem to blurt out that I've lost my Mum.... folk have said, that's because you just want folk to know the pain you're in....

Oh dear Emma, what do we do? It does feel so lonely.  Please post anything you want to chat about - I haven't been on the computer as much - I just have no interest, but I will come on this site more, I think, cause folk like yourself are going through the same thing.. So, so sorry for you 

Alison