I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer and had a hysterectomy 6 weeks ago, due to start my chemo on Monday but they say it may not work and are going to do 3 sessions and then do a ct scan and if it hasnt worked they wont do any more. This is making me feel so miserable as I so much want to have some more time with my little granddaughter who is 16 months old and a new baby that is due in 6 weeks time. I cant believe all this has happened when it should be the happiest time of my life as I am 64 years old and have longed for grandchildren for many years and thought I wasnt going to get any. I am dreading the chemo. as I have worked in a hospital for over 20 years and have dealt with many cancer patients but it is different when it is you that has to go through it. The thought of losing my lovely thick hair upsets me also and I know my husband is getting fed up with me keep crying but I dont seem to be able to stop now I know that the chances of my making any sort of recovery are small and the whole thing just breaks my heart when I think of my babies and my poor daughter who really needs my help at the moment and I feel so useless and she also cries and says she dosent know what she will do with out me.
I m sorry to be such a misery when I know there are so many brave peple out there but I feel that if the chemo isnt going to work why am I putting myself through it all.
Love to you all Ellen xx
FormerMember
Ellen
Sorry to hear you are in a bad place at the moment.
I can only agree with what everyone else has said to you already. The things that I am gathering from reading others blogs is that no two cases of this dreadful disease are the same and we all will stumble along our various pathways at a different pace. Some of us will require frequent rest breaks along the way, some will require detours major or minor, some will come across what seem like insurmountable obstacles placed right in the middle of their path but who will manage eventually to manoeuvre around them and succesfully reach their preferred destination. Try not to just grind to a complete halt and give up when there is still hope and different avenues to explore. Keep you eyes fixed on that final destination and fuel yourself with the love and support of your daughter and grandchildren . It is a good thing that you are able to express your fears about your own journey but take hope and comfort too from tthe love and support of your family and the experiences of others here who are treading a similar path to yourself but perhaps with different twists and turns.
I am so sorry you are going through a difficult time at the moment, its only natural how you feel, I know when I was diagnosed all I thought about was my lovely family and gorgeous grandson, its those who you love most dearly who you have to find the strength to fight this horrible disease for, shout, scream cry, whatever, but take one day at a time, Heres a great big HUG to you, bless you and keep strong,
I have the same...ovarian CA. Disgusting thing it is. But please remember this...everyone's cancer is different. My chemo (going to have #4 on Monday coming) has been relatively easy (dare I say it). Occasional nausea that is squashed with meds and hair loss which I fix with hats I knit and a wig, if you like get one in the style of your imagination! But I have had lots of other 'events' associated with OC...my point being that chemo is not necessarily so scary...they have come a long way. Your husband will be affected by your diagnosis too...you may want to talk to a counselor together. Let them do the 3 sessions of chemo?...it actually MAY help. Think of OC as a chronic illness as that is pretty much what it is after diagnosis. Do not worry over the 'what ifs'...
We all are here for you and send great tight hugs to you...xxxooo
All of us here are entitled to have bad days especially dealing with the things we have to face up to. I dreaded the thought of chemo but you have to remember that everyone experiences differnt levels of sideeffects and you may well be one of the lucky ones who have slight effects. I have been incredibly lucky in that I have had very few effects. Yes I lost my hair, but having reached my 7th chemo it is growing back although slowly. I popped into work today and my deputy head sidled up to me and saif " Can I stroke your hair?" I ask you what could I say but yes. So she was standing there rubbing my hair. Fortunately all the children had gone home. I too have grandchildren older than yours, a girl of 10 and a boy of 4. And I want to see them grow into adulthood and because of this I will let the doctors do what ever they want to me to ensure I can do that.I reallty and truly believe we have to take every chance to increase our recovery.
Take care and remember that everyone here is thinking of you and sending you lots of love and hugs
Thank you to all you lovely people for your comments it does help knowing that someone else knows how you are feeling.
I will be in touch again when I m feeling a bit better as I am not really a misery but it is a lot to take in and I am not really over the op properly yet.
