I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer and had a hysterectomy 6 weeks ago, due to start my chemo on Monday but they say it may not work and are going to do 3 sessions and then do a ct scan and if it hasnt worked they wont do any more. This is making me feel so miserable as I so much want to have some more time with my little granddaughter who is 16 months old and a new baby that is due in 6 weeks time. I cant believe all this has happened when it should be the happiest time of my life as I am 64 years old and have longed for grandchildren for many years and thought I wasnt going to get any. I am dreading the chemo. as I have worked in a hospital for over 20 years and have dealt with many cancer patients but it is different when it is you that has to go through it. The thought of losing my lovely thick hair upsets me also and I know my husband is getting fed up with me keep crying but I dont seem to be able to stop now I know that the chances of my making any sort of recovery are small and the whole thing just breaks my heart when I think of my babies and my poor daughter who really needs my help at the moment and I feel so useless and she also cries and says she dosent know what she will do with out me.
I m sorry to be such a misery when I know there are so many brave peple out there but I feel that if the chemo isnt going to work why am I putting myself through it all.
Love to you all Ellen xx
FormerMember
Hi Ellen
I'm not surprised you're feeling bad - you've had a major operation, not to mention a very scary diagnosis. But don't forget that the doctors have to tell you everything that might possibly go wrong - that doesn't mean it will happen. I'm 62 and I too have ovarian cancer - diagnosed as 3C last April. And yesterday I saw my oncologist who confirmed that I am now in complete remission. Chemo is a very expensive treatment so you wouldn't be getting it if the doctors didn't think it had a good chance of working. Losing your hair is pretty horrible but it does grow back - 4 months after chemo, mine is still very short but it's thicker and curlier than ever. It must be very frightening facing up to cancer when you have worked in the hospital for such a long time - but remember all the people you have known who have come through this. As for the chances of recovery being small - it's true that ovarian cancer has poor statistics. But statistics are just numbers and are always out of date. I was told that I should think of my OC as a chronic disease like diabetes - it can't be cured but it can be managed.
Anyway, dont hesitate to pm me if you feel like a chat! And don't forget that you're not on your own.
sorry you are having such a bad time, but if you feel like crying,kicking or screaming you go ahead even if you need to come here and do it. We will all support you. The reason rough all this is because you so desperately wanare putting yourself t to u ig a misery at all, nor are you useless your daughter will cope but I am sure she would cope much better with you even if you are just there to her and comfort her as she must be scared of losing you as much as you are.
Its natural to be scared and to want to cry in situations like this, your body has been through so much and you need time to adjust. Chemo isn't nice, but it gives you a chance and as Kate say they wouldn't give it to you if they didn't think it would work. You have your daughter and your grandchildren, who all love you. Kate is right statistics are just numbers, we all know people who have beaten the odds.
Be kind to yourself, come on here and share things.. we will support you
Hello my sweet....................I have battled ovarian cancer for a year now and am in steady remission. I shouldn't be here but I am and am still going. I had 4 chemos and they didn't work for me and the cancer spread and it didn't look hopeful, the chemos I had that didn't work for me worked for Kate who has answered your blog and she is in remission. All I am trying to say is that when you think "Well I've had it"amazing things can happen, I had my op, then 6 more chemos and I am great now. You are just recovering and chemo on top isn't easy, I know but at the end of the day my love if it works, it is all worth while. So you shed those tears and take things has they come and keep going and just think of your grandchild, mine made me fight even harder. Am thinking of you and you are not alone. Kate and I and many others have been there and are still going. Where there is life there is hope...............................Love Carol x
PS I had hair down to my waist and lost it all, now it is starting to grow back, it is not the end of the world love x
