Tamoxifen

Hi,

I had a similar treatment plan and am just about to start my 2nd year of Tamoxifen, having not read about the side effects - because I didn't really want to know - I'm not 100% sure what they are.

What I will say is give her time.What she has been through has been the most life changing yet horrific experience you could ever imagine. I can fully understand that it has been very hard for you too as you have to stand by and watch the person you most love in the world go through all the treatment and not be able to do anything to help or take it all away.

After treatment finishes you just want to get control back in your life which is completely normal and feelings of vulnerability will be pretty high and you end up just wanting to protect yourself in whatever way you can and maybe this is why it feels like she is shutting off from you.

Be patient and gentle, maybe try and get her talk about how she's feeling, sometimes it can take a while to actually acknowledge what has just happened even though it seems a while ago everything will still be quite raw for her. I don't think that it will be just the side effects of the Tamoxifen that are affecting her.

I'm not sure if this helps but I hope it does

Take Care

x

Hi Pete,

Sorry to hear about both your problem. But wise words have come from Kooky. Its not going to be easy and you both will have to be patient. All the best I hope everything works out.  Look after eachother.

Take care and be safe Sarsfield.

Thanks Kooky and Sarsfield for you support and kind words!

Hi Pete,I thought I'd give you an insight from my point of view-I too had surgery(mastectomy)chemo followed by radio and now I'm in my third year of taking tamoxifen,

I have lost my sex drive due to tamoxifen which can happen along with other side effects,weigh gain(as tamoxifen makes you think your hungry when really your not) flushes etc..but for me personally like your wife I also have a problem where sex is involved,I don't want to have sex and I still look at myself and don't feel like a woman anymore and yes I can go to work and socialise and prentend I'm like all the other women around me but every now and then something pulls me back to realitiy and I see me or what is left of me and because of that and the way I look now(which,even with or without surgery to re-build myself)which I've chosen never to have more surgery for me that will never change,

I'm lucky in one respect that my husband has never pushed me into having sex and even though it has now been three years I'm only now begining to allow my husband to cuddle me but so far we have not been intimate which at this moment in time suits me.

I am sorry to hear that your having problems but I hope this gives you an insight from another womens point of view, listen to Kooky(wise words) :-) good luck to you and your wife for the future. cancer doen't just take part of you it changes your life for ever! and the best thing you can do-is fight! :-)