It's all so wearing. Weeks and weeks of chemo and hope, then a few days of Markus feeling not so good, and the big questions come up again - scans next week - is everything ok, are the breathing difficulties just a cold, or something more sinister? Is the shoulder pain rheumatism, or is there really something there ( hence the MRI on Thursday)? Is the exhaustion normal after 22 weeks of Taxol? Will we be happy, or will we have to refocus?
I guess we all go through this, but it doesn't make it any easier. The longer it goes on, the more I have the feeling of being stretched like a rubber band, ready to go 'ping' at an inopportune moment. And Markus says little, concentrates on doing up friends' computers, just grunts occasionally. Wish he would complain more.
Wish us well next Tuesday and Thursday, friends!
FormerMember
Oh boy, do I understand. Its very tough and how long will it continue... Pat, try, try, try to do some little things for yourself that will bring you some solace and joy. I found very small things suddenly brought me pleasure and I took full advantage of them. I sighed a lot. I'll be thinking of you guys and hoping for some good news that lighten your load a bit. Best, Lori
You just have to get away mentally for awhile sometimes. Find a way to do that. It is rejouvenating and helps you deal with things better. Go out to a movie or out shopping or whatever will do it. You will geel better. Hang tough and don't let go.
I know how you feel! I don't think any of us will ever get past the 'big questions'. As it was unthinkable to get cancer in the first place, once you've had that diagnosis you become suspicious of everything and can't accept that something might NOT be sinister. Just hoping and praying that all goes well for you and Markus next week - you both deserve some good luck, good news and reassurance before your trip this summer. By the way . . . I had taxol and am still tired out 6 months later! But at least it worked. And another PS - I'm sure you don't really want Markus to complain more!
Lots of love and big hugs to you both - and hope to see you again in the Summer
just to let you know we are all thinking of you and Markus and send our love and big ((gentle)) hugs to you both.
No it doesn't get easier - I go round with a rictus smile saying "I'm fine - I'm absolutely fine" for several weeks before every test/check up etc. fools no-one . . . .
