Inside again!

1 minute read time.

It has been a long, hard 10 days since Markus got out of hospital, for both of us. He has had such a bad time with breathing problems, in spite of oxygen, in spite of morphine and tranquillisers. Everyone has been very helpful, but it has been very difficult nevertheless. The mobile palliative care visited and adjusted his pain medication, and advised me not to leave him alone at all. Yesrterday I had to attend a computer course because our system at work has changed, and after I had been there an hour, the mobile care called me to say our doctor had visited Markus, but noone had answereed the door. So I shot out of the course and drove home, wondering why the doctor had called and why Markus hadn't answered the door.

When I got home, Markus was still sleeping soundly. A load of phone calls later, I found out our doctor had called to assess Markus for increased carer's allowance - and I hadn't been informed. He came back and told us we would receive a hefty increase. Great, but I missed the course, felt bad at leaving Markus alone and was shocked by what I feared could have happened.

Today, at work, I just felt like crawling under the table, out of sight, where no-one could see me or find me. But when I got home, Markus woke up and was very clear and definate in his wishes. He wanted to prepare to go to hospital. It was such a relief. Whenever I mentioned hospital before today, he just shook his head, although he was suffering panic attacks and had tremendous breathing problems.Then I took his temperature - high again. So he has another infection - probably why he has been feeling so bad and losing even more weight this week. He is really only skin and bone, no muscle at all.

But a tremendous will.

And now he's back in hospital, wired up to oxygen, antibiotics and morphine, smiling and joking with nthe nurses again. I'm so glad he feels safe again.

I went out for a pizza and some wine with my Danish friend, and was able to relax at last. We are both going to sleep well tonight, I think. Thank heavens.

 

 

Anonymous
  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    puss ... is that you??? this new site is so confusing and sorry if its not you but it  was only that you mentioned markus.. why is everyone changing their names.

    i`m glad markus feels safe... i wouldnt have answered this had i not spotted his name..liz xxx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hello Pusspins - why the name change? I am glad to hear that you got out tonight with friends - it is really what you needed after the stressful week you have had. Poor Markus he goes up then down - its heartbraking, but I know he still has that fighting spirit within him. This infection seems so stubborn but the hospital has sorted it before - and will sort it agaon, I do hope you get some much deserved sleep my lovely, sweet deams and big hugs,,,love Jools xxx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hello Mally, i read all your blogs, so i have followed yours and Markus journey.

    He is such a fighter, and you are too.

    I hope you get some well deserved rest while Markus is being cared for by his

    wonderful nurses. I just dont know where you get your strength from, holding down

    a job as well.But you have to keep going

    dont you. You and Markus are a great

    example to everyone fighting this horrible

    cancer. Peace be with the both of you.

      Lots of Love Lucylee.xxxx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hiya Pusspins

    Gosh this has been an up and down struggle for you both. Sending big Tigger sized hugs

     Tantan xx

  • FormerMember
    FormerMember

    Hi Pat

    I'm like liz I didn't know if it was you but there is a blog on your homepage that I've responded to so It must be you.  The other day it looked as though Markus was online but couldn't find a way to PM him, Glad you had some me time with your friend.

    All my love & Hugs

    Shelley