Hi everyone so many of us seem to be going through really tough times . Reading all your stories while lying here in the Beatson Cancer Centre makes me realise how lucky I am. I forget sometimes that many of you are coping with far more difficult situations than I. My heart goes out to you all, to many names to mention but I think of you all every day......I have had a good hat with my consultant each of the last two weeks as I have gone from walking around holding on to my wife, ok with a couple of little falls, to having a stick 2 weeks ago.... to being in a self propelled wheelchair by last Friday! to today being told I can't wheel myself other than on the ward! And then only occasionally!, I got quite upset about the loss of independence in such a short time! Any way he thinks the white brain matter is swollen in my brain, he mentioned this out of the blue last week, tody he sys it is worse causing me to have episodes of very low blood pressure and episodes of a very fast heart rate. It is all so making me very tired and affecting my decision making processes....... The good news is shouldn't be permanent as it is caused by the high dose chemo I have had. The bad news is it may take a few months before I start to get better. In the meantime he has started me on more steroids to help me.
Has anyone got any tips on how to come to terms with such a quick loss of independence? I know that it will improve eventually, but I can't get it out of my head that the chemo symptoms mimic closely the disease process that had started to show themselves before I started treatment, and what if some of this is still the disease playing tricks with my brain! I will just have to watch and wait - thanks for listening.
Love to you all Magpie Mike xxx
