advice

Hi Maggie, I am sorry to hear about your sister's diagnosis.

Obviously you will know your sister best and know whether she will be able to cope with you talking about her illness, but, my guess is that she might want to talk about it, but is frightened of upsetting yourself and others, so keeps quiet.

I wanted to talk about my illness and my feelings and was lucky in that I have a husband I can talk to.

Why don't you broach the subject and judge how she reacts and perhaps you will know how she wants to play it.

I hope your sister does well. Please continue to come onsite and chat, we are a friendly bunch. Your sister might even gain some support herself if you suggest she joins the site.

I wish you both all the very best.

Christine xx

Hi Maggie,

So sorry to hear about your sister. Obviously you know your sister better than me but I think it's a bit a balancing act getting things just right. Whilst you shouldn't ignore the illness try not to just talk about that. Listen if she wants to say something even if you're not sure you want to hear it she may need to say it out loud in order to let it go. If you used to ring her to have a moan, laugh, rant please still do that or she'll be very aware of what you're 'not saying'. Also there'll be times when no matter what you say you'll say the wrong thing please don't take these days to heart, it's more about how she feels than your words. Don't feel bad that your conversations are on the phone she'll understand that you can't just drop everything and to be honest sometimes we can say things on the phone that are harder face to face.

So stay in touch whatever way you're able, a cheerful text, a phone call, the occasional visit, she will appreciate knowing that you're there for her.

Wishing you both well

Max xxx

Hi Maggie

You must have red a page from my own sister's book!  You sound as caring and loving as she is: she let me talked and talked and talked about my breast cancer.  Mind you, so did my husband, friends etc.  But my sister is the one who knows exactly how I feel, what I mean when I use the words I use etc.  She is after all, made of the same flesh and blood like myself and being a woman herself she appreciates my illness better than anybody else.  So let her talk to you over the telephone (mine is overseas!) as much as she needs to.  

However, as much as you love your sister, don't forget yourself.  Remember that you may need to talk and cry too - seeing somebody you care about going through treatment is not easy.  Please look after yourself, your sister needs you.

Wishing you both all the very best

Georgia XXXXXXXXXX

hi hun well youve come to the right place for lots of support and if you can get your sister on here as well would help her a lot we all come on as max says to rant ask questions tell the good news and the bad and there is always someone who understands just how we are feeling whether we are the patient carers or family

i think we need to talk about what is happening to us and how it is affecting us chemo isnt pleasant at all some of us are luckier than others regarding side effects and some of us it just floors its a scary time and talking does help im so glad she has got such a caring sister so keep talking hun its a hard road to be on but everyone on here has been there that is why this site and the lovely people on here is priceless without it i dont know what i would have done

take care hun love to you and your sister hugs

jen xxxx

Hi Maggie,

Jen says it all. I hope your sisters condition improves in the near future. Take care of eachother.

All the best stay safe Big Hugs Love Sarsfield.xx