Wednesday, 25th August 2010
Logging onto macmillan tonight made me realise I've been away for quite a long time and I wanted to try to explain to all my friends my reasons.
It may seem odd to you all, especially when we had such marvellous news after John's half way scan that his tumour had virtually disappeared, and I can't really explain it myself.
John is still undergoing chemotherapy treatment but there is only one more session to go. However, the side effects have increased in severity and he is virtually housebound for most of the time now. As a consequence he has become more and more touchy and takes it out on me which is having a bad effect on my mental state. I feel guilty about leaving him for any period of time so I am stuck at home too.
I've virtually given up on my hobbies and my friends and only get out of the house when i take my little dog for a walk.
I think I've been suffering a mild form of depression and its only recently that I've started to feel better.
I feel guilty about staying away because I know we've been much luckier than many other people on this site. Perhaps that's a reason too - feeling guilty about the good results.
Any way, I'm going to make an effort to come back and try to be of some support to all the wonderful people on this site.
I hope you'll forgive me.
